National News
PM Agrees To Compensate Volunteer Firefighters With 10% Discount At Parliament House Canteen
The Prime Minister has sought to address mounting calls for volunteer firefighters to be paid the same as professionals when they're forced to fight long-running blazes. "We acknowledge the hard work and long hours our volunteers have put in, but...
Woman Who Hasn’t Lived In Australia For 25 Years Chosen As Nation’s Ambassador
Despite living in the UK since the 1990's, Kylie Minogue has been chosen as the face of Australia's new $15 million tourism campaign. "If Kylie really did love it down under so much, wouldn't she live here?" asks one critic...
Greens MP Calls For Drug Amnesty Bins To Be Placed At The Entry To Federal Parliament
The Australian Greens political party is calling for drug amnesty bins to be rolled out at the main entry to Federal Parliament House in Canberra. It follows the announcement yesterday that amnesty bins will be introduced at NSW music festivals...
George Pell Requests Temporary Prison Release To Attend Carols By Candlelight
Convicted paedophile George Pell has requested he be temporarily released from a Melbourne prison so he can attend Carols By Candlelight on December 21. "It's a very important time of the year and Carols By Candlelight is an event which...
Pell Requests To Be Held In Juvenile Detention Ahead Of His Final Appeal
Disgraced Cardinal George Pell has made a formal request to the High Court to be transferred to juvenile detention. "This is a safety issue," claims Pell's legal team. "Our client says he would feel more comfortable around young offenders." It...
PM Leads Special Prayers For The Bushfires To Steer Clear Of Australia’s Coal Mines
As bushfires ravage parts of NSW and QLD, the Prime Minister conducted a special prayer service on behalf of the coal mining industry. Scott Morrison led an early morning service at the Horizon Pentecostal Christian Church in the Sutherland Shire....
#BREAKING: Paul ‘Fatty’ Vautin Announced As New Host Of The Today Show
The television industry is in shock today after Channel Nine announced that Paul 'Fatty' Vautin will be the Today show's new host alongside Allison Langdon. "We are very excited to have Fatty back on air at Channel Nine," says Nine...
Wallabies Coach Unable To Hear Calls For His Resignation Due To Severe Cauliflower Ears
Doctors say Michael Cheika's cauliflower ears are preventing him from hearing the growing calls for him to step down as Wallabies Coach. The former lock developed a severe case of cauliflower ears during the 90's while playing for Randwick and...
Thick Smoke Plume Hangs Over Canberra As Stoners Try To Forget About NRL Grand Final Loss
The Canberra Raiders' loss to the Sydney Roosters in last night's NRL grand final has helped trigger a thick blanket of smoke hanging above the ACT. "We're seeing very smokey conditions around Canberra today, and potential remains for another smokey...
Swedish Activist Expresses Disgust At Scott Morrison For Shitting Himself At Maccas
A furious Greta Thunberg has lashed out at the Australian PM, amid reports he shat himself at Engadine McDonalds in 1997. "How dare you?" yelled the Swedish activist. "How does someone shit inside McDonalds, and then go on to become...
