National News

Cocaine users around NSW are turning out in droves to take advantage of the state government's new complementary nose and sinus clearing service. "It's great to see the government offering this important service," says one regular cocaine user. "They obviously...
Telstra technician Jason Branson has given himself a four day window to arrive at a client's home to install the NBN. Mother of two Monica Dale signed up for the NBN three weeks ago and last night was finally notified...
The Nine Network has announced that former National Party leader and Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce will appear on next year's season of The Farmer Wants A Wife. "We're excited to have such a high profile cast member on the...
Victoria's mandatory face mask rules have come as a big relief to one young Victorian man. Nineteen year old Tom Ridley suffers with bad facial acne and says his quality of life has improved dramatically since face masks became compulsory...
Spin king Shane Warne has been photographed wearing a cricket box on his face while out grocery shopping in the Melbourne suburb of Brighton. It follows new rules for Greater Melbourne making face coverings mandatory when leaving home. "I didn't have...
A bleak combination of winter, Covid-19 and general laziness is forcing Sydney's Ange Pulver to use reality TV to find meaning and purpose in her own life. "I'm really invested in all the contestants on Bachelor in Paradise," she says....
Woolworths' new policy encouraging shoppers to wear face masks has been revealed as a ploy to prevent them stealing grapes. "Publicly the policy is being implemented under the guise of stopping the spread of Coronavirus," says a head office employee...
From the makers of popular dating app 'Hinge' comes 'Unhinge,' a new app for singles who think Covid is a scam. "We want to be an online meeting place for Covid skeptics," says app developer Peter Coyne. "But also a...
A dramatic stand off has emerged between a doctor in intensive care and 'Bunnings Karen' who has now contracted a serious case of Covid-19. Even with extreme difficulty breathing, Bunnings Karen is refusing to wear a ventilator face mask. "The 1948...
The nation's scientists are flagging a dramatic increase in the number of people who think Covid-19 is a scam. "We've seen several new outbreaks," says the CSIRO's Hunter Thomas. "It comes after Melbourne 'Covidiot' Eve Black went viral by filming herself...

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