National News
People Who Avoid Office Small Talk By Working Remotely, Can Save Up To 10 Days Per Year: Report
EFFICIENCY GAINS: As Australian companies attempt to lure workers back into the office, a new report shows it may be costing us dearly. "Our study shows the average Australian worker engages in 35 minutes of office small talk every day,"...
New Polling Shows The Angry Pensioner Who Abused Sco Mo, Is Now Australia’s Preferred PM
NEW CONTENDER: A frustrated disability pensioner is threatening to derail the federal election, after new polling shows him to be Australia's preferred Prime Minister. The man - only known as Ray - abused Scott Morrison in a Newcastle pub last...
Prime Minister Calls Olivia From MAFS To Recommend An Empathy Consultant
HELPING HAND: Australia's Prime Minister has personally reached out to Married At First Sight 'villain' Olivia Frazer. "Hi Olivia, I'm the Prime Minister Scott Morrison, and I think I may be able to help you." he said at the start...
‘If You Can’t Afford To Rent A Home, Buy One,” Says Man Living In Mansion Funded By Taxpayers
PROPERTY LADDER: The Prime Minister has some sage advice for Australians struggling to keep up with soaring rental prices. "Just buy a home instead," Scott Morrison told Channel Nine today in a live cross from his 10-bedroom, 10-bathroom harbour-side mansion...
FUEL PRICES: Gerry Harvey Refusing To Give Anyone A Lift, Unless They Give Him Petrol Money
CRYING POOR: Billionaire retailer Gerry Harvey says the soaring cost of fuel is forcing him to request petrol money from anyone who rides in his yellow convertible Ferrari. "This is just the harsh reality of life at the moment." says...
#BREAKING: Dion From MAFS Now Dating Show ‘Expert’ Alessandra Rampolla
LAST LAUGH: After being brutally betrayed on national television, Dion Giannarelli is making an impressive comeback. The 34 year old, who was cheated on during the latest season of Married At First Sight, has today revealed exclusively to DBT that...
Sydney Company Bans Small Talk At Work, In Desperate Bid To Lure Staff Back Into The Office
EFFICIENCY GAINS: Workers engaging in small talk at a local law firm face instant dismissal, after the company's CEO implemented a ban on generic office banter. "People are choosing to continue to work from home to avoid unnecessary chit chat...
Russians Thank McDonalds, KFC & Pizza Hut For Closing Stores, Encouraging Healthier Eating
BOYCOTT BACKFIRE: Russian civilians and soldiers have formally thanked the US fast-food giants which have closed stores in the former communist country. "We understand you're taking care of our health and making us stronger to fight against Ukraine," said one...
PM’s Media Team Pre-Screening Flood Victims To Ensure They’ll Agree To Shake His Hand
SET PIECE: Scott Morrison’s media team has adopted a new strategy to avoid awkward on camera exchanges similar to when bushfire victims refused to shake his hand in 2020. As the PM visits flood affected areas of NSW today, his...
#BREAKING: Covid Positive Man Fined For Leaving His Home During Rising Flood Waters
COSTLY EVACUATION: A Sydney man has been fined $1000 for leaving his flooded home while covid positive. Yesterday Graham Flaherty evacuated his house in Sydney's north, as flood waters continued to rise. "I was trying to get my valuables out,...
