National News
PM Now Advertising For Federal Cabinet Ministers On Seek, Amid Liberal Party Exodus
LABOR SHORTAGE: The federal Liberal Party is on the hunt for fresh faces after losing three senior cabinet ministers in the space of 24 hours. "As we move toward the federal election next year, we need new talent as quickly...
“Let’s Crack Down On FB Trolls,” Says Leader Of Parliament Where 33% Of Staff Are Sexually Harassed
BLAME GAME: One day after revelations that 1 in 3 parliamentary staff are sexually harassed, and 50% bullied, the PM has announced an inquiry into the toxic impacts of social media. "I've heard of some disgusting behaviour happening on Facebook...
Tim Paine Walks Out Of Ch 7 Interview, As Journo Admits She Didn’t Read The Texts He Sent Her
NETWORK WOES: Channel 7 News has become the news once again, after another high profile guest dramatically walked out of an exclusive interview with the network. Former Australian test cricket captain Tim Paine was left visibly frustrated and offended when...
#BREAKING: Tim Paine Hired By Craig Kelly To Help Send Unsolicited Text Messages
SIDE HUSTLE: The former Australian cricket captain Tim Paine has secured employment as communications manager in the office United Australia Party (UAP) MP Craig Kelly. "We think Tim will be a real asset to the UAP in the lead up...
‘Dangerous Emissions’: PM To Achieve Net Zero By Not Shitting Himself At Engadine Maccas
SHIT PLAN: The Prime Minister has begun unveiling some much needed details about Australia's plan to achieve net zero carbon emissions by 2050. "We all need to do everything we can to reduce harmful gas emissions," says Scott Morrison. "And...
Nerd Without Social Skills Remains Confident He Can Make Friends In His Metaverse
SOCIAL DILEMMA: After decades of leading Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp, Mark Zuckerberg is admitting he still hasn't made any good friends. "I'm a little shy, awkward and some say robotic," the 37 year old told DBT. "Making friends and socialising...
Kmart Releases ‘Influencer’ Costume Set For Halloween, Complete With $3 Plate
RACK READY: If you haven't sorted your Halloween costume yet, Kmart may have the answer. The discount retailer has expanded its costume range so shoppers can dress up as influencers. "It's a great way for our consumers to feel cool,"...
#BREAKING: Gladys Berejiklian’s Ex-Boyfriend Is Now Reportedly Dating Annastasia Palaszczuk
NEW ROMANCE: A Sydney corruption inquiry has been told that disgraced former NSW MP Daryl Maguire is now dating Queensland Premier Annastasia Palaszczuk. The inquiry heard that border closures are currently preventing the pair from seeing each other, but they...
EXCLUSIVE: Bachelorette Leaves Show Empty Handed, As All Contestants Pair Up With Each Other
THIRD TIME UNLUCKY: Reality TV star Brooke Blurton's third attempted at finding love on TV has failed, DBT can confirm. We can reveal exclusively that the 16 Bachelors and Bachelorettes vying for Brooke's heart all ended up hooking up with...
Kmart Release ‘Melbourne Tradie Protestor’ Costume Set For Halloween
SCARY TRADIE: For those who are curious to know what it feels like to be a tradie for a day, Kmart has the answer. Two weeks before Halloween, the discount retailer Kmart has released a 'Melbourne Tradie Protestor' costume kit...
