National News
PM’s Media Team Pre-Screening Flood Victims To Ensure They’ll Agree To Shake His Hand
SET PIECE: Scott Morrison’s media team has adopted a new strategy to avoid awkward on camera exchanges similar to when bushfire victims refused to shake his hand in 2020. As the PM visits flood affected areas of NSW today, his...
#BREAKING: Covid Positive Man Fined For Leaving His Home During Rising Flood Waters
COSTLY EVACUATION: A Sydney man has been fined $1000 for leaving his flooded home while covid positive. Yesterday Graham Flaherty evacuated his house in Sydney's north, as flood waters continued to rise. "I was trying to get my valuables out,...
‘Returning to the office is crucial for collaboration,’ says boss who still works from home
TOUCHY TOPIC: A Sydney employer is being accused of having 'double standards' over his company's remote working policy. Luke Fenning has announced that returning to the office is now mandatory for all his 37 staff as the pandemic eases. "Company...
Bondi Woman Applies For Flood Relief Payment, After Being Forced To Cancel Her Trip To Byron
FLOOD IMPACT: The ongoing flood crisis in Northern NSW is having a dramatic impact on one Bondi woman. Jodie Cullen had booked a two week holiday to Byron Bay, but she's been forced to cancel due to road closures around...
“Great To Be Back In The Office So We Can Collaborate,” Writes Boss In Email Sent From 5 Metres Away
DBT YEAR IN REVIEW: MARCH 1 OFFICE POLITICS: The boss of a small accounting firm where all work can easily be done remotely has sent an email welcoming staff back into the office. "I've missed being in the same room...
Influencer To Donate $100 To Flood Victims, For Every 1k New Instagram Followers She Receives
HERE TO HELP: A Sydney influencer is attempting to raise money for Queensland flood victims in exchange for new Instagram followers. Amber Forster says she was struck by the intensity of the floods crisis while watching a TV news update...
Opposition Leader Discovers Fashion Sense Just In Time For The Election
VOTE OF APPROVAL: With a federal election fast approaching, the leader of the Labor party leader has staged a dramatic physical transformation. In a photoshoot for the Australian Women's Weekly, Anthony Albanese has unveiled his new look, including tight chinos,...
Telstra Technician Tells Customer He’ll Arrive ‘Sometime Between March And June’
TIMELY SERVICE: Telstra technician Jason Branson has given himself a four month window to arrive at a client's home to install a modem. Mother of two Monica Dale ordered the modem three weeks ago and last night was finally notified...
Scott Morrison Hires ‘The Tinder Swindler’ For Advice On How To Appeal To Women
WHAT WOMEN WANT: Australia's Prime Minister has engaged the services of ‘The Tinder Swindler’ Simon Leviev to help tap into the female psyche ahead of the federal election. "You just have to tell them what they want to hear,” says...
PM Punches A Bong After Focus Groups Show Overwhelming Support For Grace Tame
WAKE N BAKE: The Prime Minister has punched a bong early this morning during a press conference at Parliament House in Canberra. "That didn't even touch the sides," Scott Morrison told reporters immediately after exhaling. "I'll be keen for another...
