Analysis

Cocaine users around NSW are turning out in droves to take advantage of the state government's new complementary nose and sinus clearing service. "It's great to see the government offering this important service," says one regular cocaine user. "They obviously...
From the makers of 'The Farmer Wants A Wife,' comes 'The Farmer Wants A Life,' a brand new reality TV format soon to hit our screens. "We're offering one lucky Australian farmer a life free of drought concerns, fluctuating commodity...
A man who refuses to learn how to pay his bills online is upset about the long queues at his local post office. "Today I lined up for 14 minutes just to pay my bloody Telstra landline bill," says Max...
One of the world's leading TV weather presenters has reportedly been dumped by Channel TEN after a 25 year association with the network. Tim Bailey is well-known for his perfect prose and pronunciation, and his quirky, captivating delivery. "No more drips...
If you're thinking about shaking Alex Fanco's hand, or kissing him on the cheek, think again. The 35 year old has implemented a strict 'elbow tap only' greeting policy. "I know the elbow tap can be awkward at times," he says....
The Victorian Premier has announced a new sponsorship deal with outdoor and camping equipment retailer Kathmandu. “Kathmandu is a well-known and much-loved brand,” says Daniel Andrews. “I’m excited to have their support during these difficult times.” The terms and value of...
A self-appointed nutritionist with lips and breasts filled with harsh chemicals has added her voice to the 'sugar is toxic' movement. Sydney's Linley Brulia is backing up scientific research showing that sugar has harmful effects on metabolism and contributes to...
A sexually frustrated Sydney man spent several hours today walking aimlessly around Westfield Bondi Junction. "I kind of just stroll around, following hot women wherever they go," says Paul Pappas. "I like to call it retail therapy." The 30 year old...
A groundbreaking new report shows dancing amongst studio audience members like a muppet does nothing to boost the popularity of TV hosts. "Our survey shows 72% of respondents label this kind of behaviour as 'attention seeking, annoying and unnecessary,'" says...
Woolworths' new policy encouraging shoppers to wear face masks has been revealed as a ploy to prevent them stealing grapes. "Publicly the policy is being implemented under the guise of stopping the spread of Coronavirus," says a head office employee...

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