National News

HIGH FLYERS: Valium announced as sponsor of Qantas’ new ultra long-haul flights

CHILL PILL: Passengers on Qantas' new long haul flights will be given a 5mg tablet of anxiety medication Valium, under a new sponsorship deal announced today by the airline. "Flying almost 20 hours non-stop can be a stressful experience for...
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InstaFit: Fitness First now offering discount memberships to those only using their phones

PHONE PLAN: As recession fears continue to bite, global gym chain Fitness First is offering relief to Australian household budgets. "Our research shows up to 14% of our members come to the gym and are on their phones pretty much...
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“Let me help you grow your Instagram page,” says ‘social media expert’ with 194 followers

GROWTH HACKER: A self-described 'social media expert' is offering to help those looking to boost their Instagram profiles, despite boasting a personal following of only 194. Joel Salanti reportedly slid into a local woman's DM's, attempting to sell his services....
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Seven Network announce Ben Roberts-Smith as a contestant on the next season of SAS Australia

BACK ON THE FRONT LINE: The Seven Network continues to stand by its controversial Queensland managing director Ben Roberts-Smith. The decorated war criminal has this evening been announced as a contestant on season two of Seven's reality TV show SAS...
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Alfie Langer still wondering how he made selection for this 1991 ad with Tina Turner

PIN UP BOY: The passing of the Queen of Rock 'n' Roll Tina Turner has raised some unanswered questions for one former footballer. Back in the early 1990's, pre-eminent halfback Alfie Langer was featured in an NRL ad alongside Tina...
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Local influencer heroically survives this morning’s Instagram outage largely unscathed

SURVIVOR: A self-described 'influencer' has told of her harrowing ordeal this morning, when Instagram suddenly went offline for one hour. "I was having my breakfast at the time," says Jamie Rogers. "It felt surreal." "I took a selfie with my...
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Woman ‘likes’ photo of friends out to dinner, purely to drive home the point that she wasn’t invited

PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE: Scandal and controversy has ripped through a small group of close friends in Sydney's east. While scrolling Instagram this morning, Amber Ripoli saw a photo of her three best friends out for dinner. "It hurt a lot," she...
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Man who relies on work for social activity, relieved his colleagues are being forced back into the office

WORKMATES: A Sydney man with no friends outside of his job is celebrating his employer's return to the office policy. "Finally, someone to talk to face to face!" says Geoff Tanner, whose social life consists entirely of forced small talk...
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Colleagues in same colour blazers use the ‘coincidence’ as flimsy excuse to post a selfie

TWINNING: A pair of Sydney office workers are once again digging deep for reasons to post photos of themselves to Instagram. The colleagues both wore red blazers to work, claiming it was a coincidence. "Suddenly they got up from their...
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“Never give strangers your phone number,” says mum who shares home address on FB marketplace

SECURITY FLAW: A Sydney mum is dishing out some contradictory security advice to her teenage daughters. "Never give strangers your phone number," says mother Heather Stanley. "And always make your instagram account private." "If you don't, creepy men might follow...
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