National News

Woman who saved 99c by finally remembering to bring a reusable tote bag to Woolies, rewards herself with a $5k tote bag from Christian Dior

GIRL MATH: A Double Bay woman is flaunting her new Christian Dior tote bag this morning. She purchased it after some quick thinking while getting ready to go to the supermarket. “Instead of buying a new reusable bag like I...
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“Absolutely no one cares about your Spotify Wrapped!” declares man who posts daily screenshots of his Strava data

JOG ON: A Sydney fitness enthusiast has taken to social media today, criticising his followers for sharing their annual Spotify Wrapped results. "Honestly, nobody wants to see a list of your top artists," wrote Dave Phillips. "It's so over indulgent....
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#BREAKING: Joe Rogan announced has new co-host of ABC News Breakfast

SWING TO THE RIGHT: In a surprising twist, controversial US podcaster Joe Rogan has accepted an offer from the ABC to co-host its flagship morning program, ABC News Breakfast. The announcement comes only one week after the ABC Chair Kim...
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Flat chested white woman calling for name change of ‘Flat White’ coffee

NAME GAME: A flat chested local woman has begun a campaign to change the name of 'flat white' coffees. Miranda Coombes says she enjoys flat white coffees, but gets embarrassed every time she tries to order one. "I feel the...
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Melbourne man quickly deletes his ‘Nup To The Cup’ Instagram post, after getting a late invite to The Birdcage

YUP TO THE CUP: A Melbourne man is being accused of backflipping on his pledge to avoid getting involved in today's Melbourne Cup. Mark Tyson posted a personalised 'Nup To The Cup' image to his Instagram last week, but a...
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Raygun applies to do a PhD in modelling after appearing on the front cover of Stellar Magazine

STUNNING AND BRAVE: Former break dancer Raygun has announced a career transition after appearing on the front cover of lifestyle and fashion title Stellar Magazine. After her controversial break dancing appearance at the Paris Olympics, the 37 year old from...
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#BREAKING: Visiting King Charles and Queen Camilla fail to get a table at Totti’s Bondi

NOT FIT FOR A KING: King Charles and Queen Camilla were unceremoniously turned away today from Totti’s Bondi, a popular Italian eatery on Bondi Road. “Sorry your Majesty, we are booked out till April 14 next year,” the door girl...
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Eastern suburbs residents now fearing for PM’s wellbeing, after learning he can only afford a house worth $4.3 million

HOUSING CRISIS: Residents of Sydney's affluent eastern suburbs are in shock this morning, after learning the Prime Minister and his fiancee could only afford a house worth a mere $4.3 million. The news has left many locals questioning Anthony Albanese's...
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“How good! From tomorrow we get an extra hour of daylight!” says man who spends every single afternoon indoors scrolling TikTok

DAYLIGHT ROBBERY: Sydney man Lucas Silva says he's "so pumped" about the start of daylight saving tomorrow. “I've been waiting for this all winter,” he said. "Every day I'll be going straight from work to the beach. I think I'm...
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Local man forced to quit job so he can work full-time on reading emails from his son’s school

CAREER SHIFT: A Sydney man has waved goodbye to his 13 year career in finance after becoming "completely overwhelmed" by a flood of emails from his son's school. "Reading all these messages has unfortunately become my full-time job," Mark Ishan...
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