National News
PM now driving an Uber on weekends to help pay for all of Labor’s pre-election spending
FISCAL RESPONSIBILITY: Australia's Prime Minister is moonlighting as an Uber driver on weekends amid Labor's extravagant pre-election cash splash. After an $8.5 billion Medicare boost, Labor has today also announced new energy rebates totalling $1.8 billion, with further cost of...
Unexpected cooler weather gives local finance bro perfect excuse to whip out the puffer vest
VESTED INTEREST: A local finance worker was seen walking around Double Bay in a Moncler puffer vest today, even though it's only March. "Even after a heatwave on Sunday this bloke already has the puffer on, what a muppet," shouted...
Kmart now only stocking Australian made products, in protest of US trade tariffs
HOME GROWN: It might look like the result of yet another round of panic buying, but this is a bold act of patriotic defiance. Kmart has today removed all overseas made products from its shelves. The retailer says it's now...
#BREAKING: Tropical Cyclone Alfred downgraded to a mainstream news media clickbait conspiracy
MEDIA STORM: In a twist even the most dramatic weather forecasters didn’t see coming, Tropical Cyclone Alfred has been downgraded to a mainstream news media clickbait conspiracy. After days of frenzied warnings and frantic panic buying, it turns out Alfred...
Growing concerns for Gold Coast woman refusing to evacuate until she finishes watching last night’s episode of MAFS
STAYING PUT: Emergency service workers are applying heavy pressure on a Gold Coast woman to evacuate her home, as Cyclone Alfred fast approaches the east coast. But Margaret Plymouth says she's only prepared to leave after she finishes watching last...
#BREAKING: Triple M announce new breakfast radio hosts for 2025: Marty Sheargold and Andrew Tate
SHOCK JOCKS: Triple M says its set to become dominant in breakfast radio after announcing a bizarre new on-air pairing. From next week Marty Sheargold and the notoriously controversial Andrew Tate will host a new breakfast show called 'One For...
First 24 hours of weekend away with friends at AirBnB spent arguing about who should get which room
WEEKEND WARRIORS: It was meant to be a chance to relax and unwind, but a weekend away for one group of Sydney friends quickly turned into a petty and tension-filled ordeal. Almost half of their time at a Bowral AirBnB...
“I don’t need a special day to show my love for you,” says man who makes zero effort ever
DATE NIGHT: A local man has once again reaffirmed his lacklustre approach toward romance, and his strong opposition to Valentine's Day. "It's all just marketing rubbish," Max Weiner tells his wife every year. "I would never show love for you...
“Hey, just checking if we’re still on for today?” woman texts her fiance on their wedding day
CANCEL CULTURE: Only three hours before a Sydney couple is set to walk down the aisle to get married, the bride-to-be sent her fiance Harry a WhatsApp message asking: "Are we still on for today?" "I just wanted to give...
“Sorry, I didn’t see your text,” insists friend who checks his phone every 5 seconds
BAD CONNECTION: A local man is accused of neglecting his friends after failing to reply to text messages, despite being glued to his phone 24/7. Investment analyst Mark Stanforth admits to leading a busy life and being overloaded with messages,...
