National News

“Let’s circle back in the new year,” now perfectly acceptable to say, given its October: Report

DOWN TOOLS: As summer fast approaches and the beach beckons, Australian workers are once again delaying the inevitable: their jobs. 'Let's chat about this again in early February,' or 'that sounds like next year's problem,' were traditionally phrases reserved for...
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Double Bay trust fund recipients celebrate public holiday, despite not having jobs

LABOUR DAY: A group of Sydney trust fund recipients are having a party to mark Labour Day, an annual holiday to celebrate the achievements of workers. However DBT can reveal none of them have had jobs, apart from a few...
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Daniel Andrews’ North Face jacket collection to go on display at the Melbourne Museum

ADVENTURE MAN: The former Victorian Premier has announced that his coveted North Face jacket collection will be going on display at the prestigious Melbourne Museum. "I'm sharing my North Face jacket collection with the people of Victoria," Daniel Andrews said,...
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Local woman’s 7 minute voice note to a friend, contains 4 seconds worth of useful information

LONG STORY SHORT: A Sydney woman has deeply frustrated her friends again today after sending a rambling and waffling voice note which should have been a text message. Carrie Carlos' voice note lasted more than 7 minutes, but only contained...
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RELIEF: Man decides against having children so he won’t have to help with maths homework

NUMBERS MAN: The world's declining birth rate comes amid increased costs of living, economic uncertainty plus climate change And now a new reason has emerged. "I've always considered myself someone who would make a great father," says 33 year old...
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REPORT: Nobody Is OK

NOT OK: It's the annual day when people are urged to ask 'R U OK?' to help start a conversation that might make a difference in someone's life. But a new report reveals that nobody is ok. "It seems we've...
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Woman who saved 25c by remembering to bring her re-usable bag to Woolies, rewards herself with a $5k bag from Christian Dior

SUPERMARKET SAVINGS: A Double Bay woman was flaunting her new Christian Dior tote bag this afternoon. She purchased it after some quick thinking while getting ready to go to the supermarket. “Instead of buying a new recyclable bag like I...
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“I’m so glad I didn’t get stranded at Burning Man,” says woman who’s never left the eastern suburbs

Thanks to everyone who entered DBT's headline competition. There were loads of excellent entries.. but there can only be one winner! CONGRATULATIONS @Nick_hadj on your excellent winning headline! We'll be in touch to send your prize!  And read below DBT's...
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#BREAKING: Alan Joyce set to make acting debut in remake of Thunderbirds

CAREER PIVOT: Only one day after his shock early exit from Qantas, Alan Joyce has signed on to make his acting debut in a remake of the 1960s sci-fi British TV series, Thunderbirds. I"m a natural fit," says Joyce. "Thunderbirds...
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#EXCLUSIVE: Qantas’ strict no pets in cabin policy relaxed exclusively for Albo and his dog

SPIRIT OF AUSTRALIA: In a groundbreaking and controversial move, Qantas has relaxed its longstanding no-pet in cabin policy for Australia's PM and his beloved canine Toto. "We believe in a fair go for all," says Qantas CEO Alan Joyce, "Well,...
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