National News

Doctors say Michael Cheika's cauliflower ears are preventing him from hearing the growing calls for him to step down as Wallabies Coach. The former lock developed a severe case of cauliflower ears during the 90's while playing for Randwick and...
The Canberra Raiders' loss to the Sydney Roosters in last night's NRL grand final has helped trigger a thick blanket of smoke hanging above the ACT. "We're seeing very smokey conditions around Canberra today, and potential remains for another smokey...

Apology

Double Bay Today would like to apologise for our recent article: '#BREAKING: Shane Warne Becomes First Australian Arrested Under Bali Sex Ban' We would like to confirm there is no truth to the story, which was intended as satire only. We...
A furious Greta Thunberg has lashed out at the Australian PM, amid reports he shat himself at Engadine McDonalds in 1997. "How dare you?" yelled the Swedish activist. "How does someone shit inside McDonalds, and then go on to become...
The Australian Defence Force (ADF) is dramatically increasing its arsenal of milk crates and shopping trolleys. "Today we're announcing a $4 million purchase of these items, which have recently both proved crucial in thwarting terrorist activity in Australia," says Defence...
A woman with short brown hair will replace another woman with equally short brown hair as presenter on ABC News Breakfast. Lisa Millar (left) is set to step into the role left vacant by Virginia Trioli. "Lisa is a top journalist...
Less than 48 hours after conceding defeat, Bill Shorten has tried taking his frustration out on the reigning Prime Minister. At a fundraising event in Canberra a short time ago, photographers captured the former Labor leader hurling an egg at...
A Sydney woman is being accused of misleading and deceptive conduct on Facebook. Margo Gilman has booked a trip to Coffs Harbour for October, but her recent status update suggests something much more luxurious. "Anyone know any amazing 5-star hotels in...
A groundbreaking new report has shown that nobody cares about the royal baby, except parts of the traditional news media. While tabloid and broadsheet news outlets obsess over every last detail of the birth, researchers at Sydney University have found...
The Prime Minister has announced a new initiative aimed at putting an end to Australian politicians getting caught out at strip clubs. "We've decided to bring it all in-house," says Scott Morrison. "Installing a stripper pole within Parliament will allow...

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