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Monday, May 29, 2023

National News

PEAK SEASON: A local man says his holiday to the Indonesian tourist hot spot Bali is being overrun by 'absolute blow-ins' from down under. "I'm so sick of all these muppets," says Steve Robson. "They all come here to experience...
TIME TO SHINE: A Rose Bay woman is accused of hijacking her own 4 year old son's birthday, as a thinly veiled excuse to gain credibility among her local community. Irene Hudson pulled out all stops, hosting an extravagant $45,000...
BATHROOM BATTLEFIELD: A local woman is being accused of having double standards after lashing out at her boyfriend for allegedly leaving the toilet seat up. Amid her rage, Kate Garrick strategically ignored the fact that she'd left the bathroom resembling...
HIGH ON LIFE: A Sydney man is today making the bold claim that he's having "an awesome time" at a local music festival, despite not consuming any illicit drugs or alcohol. "Dancing is a bit harder than normal because it...
BUYER BEWARE: Consumer groups have released a timely warning about mini size Easter eggs ahead of the Easter long weekend. "They may be colourful and relatively cheap, but they can incur a huge cost in terms of time," says head...
STAYING POWER: It was Rupert Murdoch's insatiable energy and sexual prowess that led to him dumping his latest fiance, according to News Corp media outlets. "Rupert is so good looking and I'm very sexually attracted to him," Ann Lesley Smith,...
HOT PROPERTY: Two of Australia's most eligible real estate agents will go looking for love on the Seven Network's newest reality TV show: 'Real Estate Agent Wants A Wife.' "Being a real estate agent is a 24/7 job," says one of...
UNEXPECTED ALLIANCE: The Australian Labor Party has today announced an unprecedented sponsorship deal with outdoor clothing and gear brand The North Face. "We're really excited to have the backing of such a well-known brand," says NSW Premier Chris Minns, who...
CANCEL CULTURE: A local man resorted to deceptive and manipulative text message tactics yesterday, in a desperate bid to cancel an arrangement with a friend. "I was tired and hungover from the night before and really just wanted to stay...
FINAL FAREWELL: MAFS fans watched Duncan dump his wife Alyssa during final vows last night, & today it's been revealed his speech was written entirely by artificial intelligence. "Duncan was really confused about what to say to wife Alyssa," a...

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