National News
Nobody Cares About Royal Baby Except News Media: Report
A groundbreaking new report has shown that nobody cares about the royal baby, except parts of the traditional news media. While tabloid and broadsheet news outlets obsess over every last detail of the birth, researchers at Sydney University have found...
Canberra Installs Stripper Pole Within Parliament House To Avoid Public Scrutiny
The Prime Minister has announced a new initiative aimed at putting an end to Australian politicians getting caught out at strip clubs. "We've decided to bring it all in-house," says Scott Morrison. "Installing a stripper pole within Parliament will allow...
Director Of Clive Palmer’s TV Ads Poached To Make Ads For Lowes Menswear
The brains behind the iconically Australian Clive Palmer election campaign TV commercials is preparing for the next phase of his career. Director Dave Silbury has been handpicked to make the next TV commercial for Lowe’s Menswear. “This is a massive...
Fraser Anning Concedes ‘Australia Not Quite As Racist As I First Thought’
Independent Senator Fraser Anning has admitted that he's misjudged Australia's attitude toward foreigners and minority groups. "My entire platform was built on racism," he says. "I thought that's what Australian voters were demanding from their political leaders." But after being censured...
Bill Shorten Attempts To Achieve Popularity Of NZ PM Jacinda Ardern
Labor leader Bill Shorten has today fronted a press conference outside parliament house in Canberra wearing an abaya, which is a full length version of a hijab. It comes almost two weeks after New Zealand's Prime Minister won international praise for her response...
‘When I Asked Him To Visit The NRA, I Meant The National Retailers Association:’ Hanson
"It's all a big misunderstanding," she claims. Leaders of One Nation are in damage control after revelations senior party figure James Ashby sought millions of dollars from America's National Rifle Association to weaken Australia’s gun laws. "It's all a misunderstanding,"...
Gladys Spotted Leaving Star City Casino With Mike Baird At 6am This Morning
The Premier and her Liberal Party faithful have partied well into the early hours of this morning after their election victory last night. Double Bay Today was on hand to capture Gladys Berejiklian leaving Star City Casino at 6am this...
Egg Boy Launches GoFundMe Page To Raise Money To Egg Tony Abbott
Egg Boy has his sights set on Tony Abbott today after his monumental egging of Fraser Anning yesterday. "I've set up a GoFundMe page to hopefully fund a trip up to Sydney," says the Melbourne teen. "Tony is next." The...
NSW Labor To Fund Huge Dance Festival At Allianz Stadium If It Wins Election
The NSW Labor party has pledged to host a large scale, 3-day music festival at Allianz stadium if it wins the election. "The stadium may already be in a state of ruin, but what better place to farewell Gladys Berejiklian?"...
#Breaking: Allegations George Pell Was Instrumental In Ball Tampering Scandal Saga
The Catholic Church has been embroiled in yet another scandal. In a hastily arranged press conference this morning, Cricket Australia has alleged convicted Cardinal George Pell had a role to play in the ball tampering saga. "George is a ball...
