National News
“I’m Dying For A Beer At The Pub,” Says Man Who’s Been Drunk At Home For The Last 6 Weeks
THIRSTY WORK: A Sydney man who's spent 95% of lockdown pissed at home says he can't wait to go to the pub for a beer. "That very first sip is going to be so good," says Flynn Ryan, despite having...
Special Exemption: New Rules Allow The PM To Do Lines Of Coke With Nadia Bartel
Federal cabinet has signed off on new laws allowing the Prime Minister to do lines of cocaine with Nadia Bartel during lockdown. "Being Prime Minister during a pandemic is a very stressful job," says Scott Morrison. "I need some relief."...
Kmart Reports Spike In Demand For Its $3 Plates, After Nadia Bartel Snorted A Line Off One
INFLUENCER MARKETING: Discount retailer Kmart is experiencing a wave of "unprecedented demand" for its 'Grey Glazed Side Plates.' It comes after a video leaked online of Melbourne influencer Nadia Bartel using one of the plates to do lines off. "When...
Kmart Moves To Distance Itself From The Video Of Nadia Bartel Snorting White Powder
Melbourne influencer Nadia Bartel has made headlines after a video leaked online of her snorting white powder. But many have been distracted by something else in the clip. "She's doing the line off a plate which you can buy from...
Influencer Admits To Intentionally Getting Caught Snorting White Powder For The Media Attention
CUNNING PLAN: Influencer Nadia Bartel has broken her silence on the video posted on Instagram showing her appearing to snort a white powder. I wanted to make it look like it was an accident. That's why the video was only...
#BREAKING: Gerry Harvey To Return Remaining JobKeeper As Political Donation To The Liberal Party
Retail Billionaire Gerry Harvey has broken his silence about the JobKeeper payment which has sent him into damage control. He is being criticised for keeping 70% of the JobKeeper his company received, despite posting a 79% increase in profit last...
Power Tripping Truckie Now A ‘Public Figure’ After Getting 34 Likes On His Anti-Lockdown Video
A Sydney truck driver is taking the next brave step in his career. Steve Gregg has updated his Instagram bio to 'Public Figure' after posting a rant to Instagram, detailing his opposition to lockdowns and mandatory vaccinations. "My video got...
Woman Battling Boredom & Depression Posts Photo Of ‘Quarantini’ To Suggest She’s Having Fun
A woman whose hopes and dreams have been completely ripped apart by covid is trying to remain upbeat on social media. Tracey Simmonds' career has been destroyed, she's watched everything on Netflix, Stan and Binge, and she's put on 10...
New Freedoms: PM Says Vaccinated Australians Can Now Shake Hands, If Wearing Gloves
The Prime Minister says shaking hands is an "important human experience." That's why he's allowing fully vaccinated Australians to do so, provided they're wearing gloves. "The gloves must be rubber, without any holes," says Scott Morrison. "And the gloves must...
Centrelink Overwhelmed With Influencers After OnlyFans Banned Porn
DISASTER RELIEF: Long, winding queues are quickly forming outside Centrelink offices around the country today, after OnlyFans announced a plan to ban “sexually explicit” content. "I'll be destitute," one local influencer told DBT. "Selling my porn photos and videos is...
