National News

Local Boomers Escape Sydney Traffic By Taking Cruise Ship Holiday In Suez Canal

A retired Sydney couple who say they're sick and tired of the constant Sydney traffic have taken drastic steps to escape the rat race. Barry and Kate Hoxton are onboard a P&O cruise ship, touring Egypt's Suez Canal. "We knew...
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Canberra Parliamentary Staff Turn Up To Work In Full PPE

A group of around 50 political staffers have arrived at Parliament House in Canberra decked out in full personal protective equipment (PPE). "It's a hassle wearing all this stuff, but I'm not taking any chances," says one worker. It comes...
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PM Calls Up Jarryd Hayne For Spot On The Front Bench

The Prime Minister has named former NRL superstar Jarryd Hayne as Australia's new Minister for Sport. "We're excited and proud that Jarryd has agreed to serve on our front bench," says Scott Morrison. "We believe Jarryd has a big future...
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Peta Credlin Angry She Was Never Invited To Any Parliamentary Orgies

Sky News presenter and former federal parliamentary staffer Peta Credlin has revealed that she was never invited to any orgies or sex romps. "During my time working as chief of staff to Tony Abbott, I saw so many orgies and...
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Network TEN To Start Production On New Crime Drama TV Series: CSI Canberra

Network TEN have today announced a new crime drama series is in the pipeline. "We've begun shooting a season of CSI Canberra," says executive producer Alon Ulla. "It's a warts and all look at the various police investigations into rape...
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Extra Police Now Patrolling Parliament House To Ensure Security Guards Don’t Enter Certain Rooms

More than 500 extra police officers will patrol the corridors of power at Federal Parliament House, under a new security initiative announced by the Attorney General. "The police will be ensuring security guards don't enter certain rooms willy nilly," says...
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Scott Morrison’s Empathy Coach Gets A Pay Rise After Teaching The PM How To Cry

After successfully crying at a press conference today, the Prime Minister has handed his empathy coach James Fitzgibbon a 3.5% pay rise. "James has done some excellent work teaching me method acting and showing me how to shed a tear...
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Andrew Bolt Hosts Panel Discussion With Porter & Pell On Jarryd Hayne Guilty Verdict

Sky News host Andrew Bolt has assembled an all-star cast for a special panel discussion after Jarryd Hayne was found guilty of sexual assault. "This verdict is an absolute joke," Andrew Bolt says in the segment promo. "I believe Jarryd...
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Bondi Actor Gets Big Break Playing The Waiter On MAFS Who Says ‘Dinner Is Served’

A struggling Bondi actor has landed a role on one of Australia's highest rating TV shows. Daniel Rocca is appearing on the 8th season of Married At First Sight.. but not as one of the contestants. "I'm the waiter who...
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Seven Network To Increase On-Air Diversity By Employing Ethnic Man To Wear Cash Cow Costume

The Seven Network is today being applauded by media diversity advocates, after the Sunrise breakfast TV show appointed an ethnic man to wear the Cash Cow costume. "Having ethnically diverse on-air talent is a huge priority for us here at...
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