National News
New Targets: Scott Morrison Pledges To Meet With Brittany Higgins By 2050
At the White House Climate Summit, Australia's Prime Minister has made a new commitment to finally arrange a meeting Brittany Higgins by 2050. "We need to set realistic targets," says Scott Morrison. "These things just don't happen overnight." Mr Morrison...
Government Consent Video Triggers 410% Increase In Milkshake Related Violence
The now infamous milkshake consent video was only live for a day before being scrapped, but it's having a dramatic and unintended consequence. Parent groups and school principals are reporting a huge spike milkshake related violence. "In our school alone...
Government’s Consent Ad Replaced By Explainer Video Presented by Christian Porter
Widely criticised for its 'confusing' and 'out of touch' consent milkshake video, the federal government has quickly replaced it with a new video presented by Christian Porter. "I know first-hand the importance of consent," says Porter in the video which...
Consent Milkshake Video Made By Producers Of 1970’s TV Sitcom ‘Happy Days’
The federal government's new consent video is being slammed for being 'out of touch' and 'ineffective,' and now it's become clear why. It was made by the same production company responsible for the 1970's TV sitcom classic Happy Days. "I...
PM Gives Christine Holgate Cartier Watch As Apology For Bullying
The Prime Minister is accused of staging a major backflip on his earlier judgement that it's inappropriate to give luxury watches as gifts. Today Scott Morrison gave the former Australia Post chief a $6000 Cartier watch in an apparent apology...
Thousands Of Pirated Copies Of ‘Apocalypse Now’ Uncovered In Ben Robert-Smith’s Backyard
Australian Federal Police have launched yet another investigation into Ben Roberts-Smith, after unearthing another potentially incriminating find in his backyard. Police found thousands of pirated copies of the classic war film 'Apocalypse Now' buried in the soil. "We allege the...
Queen Elizabeth Announces Move Into Granny Flat At Harry & Meghan’s
A grieving Queen Elizabeth has arrived in California where she'll take up residence at a granny flat in Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's backyard. "Ultimately I would love to stay in the UK, but Buckingham Palace is way too big...
PM Intervenes: Scott Morrison Orders Bryce From MAFS To Undergo Empathy Training
As Federal Parliament continues to erupt with allegations of harassment and abuse against women, the PM has now begun extending disciplinary action outside the Canberra bubble. Scott Morrison has ordered Bryce Ruthven from Married At First Sight to undergo a...
Nation In Crisis: Australians Discover that MAFS Is Not On Tonight
Australian TV viewers have been left in shock today upon discovering the normal MAFS Sunday slugfest is not on tonight. "What the hell?" said one woman. "What do they expect me to do, watch 60 Minutes or something?" The Nine...
Blackmores Introduce New 2 in 1 Multivitamin + Covid Vaccine
Australian health supplements company Blackmores has begun marketing a new Covid Vaccine alternative. "Taken once daily, our new Multivitamin plus Covid vaccine supplement acts as guaranteed protection against Coronavirus," says Blackmores CEO John Welsh. "It also contains the key vitamins...
