National News
Politician Nobody Takes Seriously Banned From TV Show Nobody Watches
A poor excuse for a politician has been axed from appearing on a breakfast TV show that nobody watches. Pauline Hanson was banned from The Today Show after she made offensive statements on air about residents trapped in nine Melbourne...
Victorians Given 24 Hours To Scramble Into New South Wales
Hundreds of thousands of Victorians have begun a mad rush to cross the border into New South Wales this morning. Traffic around border towns is already building rapidly, only minutes after authorities announced the border between the two states will...
Tinder Announces Ban On Users In Victoria In Bid To Slow Spread Of Covid-19
Victorian Tinder users say they're outraged after being excluded from the platform as the state's Covid crisis worsens. "It's blatant discrimination," says one Melbourne Tinder user. "I don't even know anyone who has Covid and yet I'm being treated like...
Big Brother Fan Favourite Angela Lands Lucrative Lip Gloss Sponsorship Deal
She was brutally evicted from the Big Brother house last night, but fan favourite Angela Clancy is today having the last laugh. Dubbed 'queen of the house' by fans, the 38 year old has secured a lucrative sponsorship deal with...
Jetstar Now Offering $8.50 Flights To Melbourne
Jetstar is offering record discount fares as it attempts to lure Australians back into domestic travel. After offering $19 domestic seats last week, the airline is now also offering $8.50 fares to Melbourne from any capital city. "Flights to Melbourne...
Calls To Rename ‘Froot Loops’ Cereal To Avoid Offending People With Mental Illness
Mental health groups are calling for an urgent renaming of the popular children's breakfast cereal 'Froot Loops.' "All too often, the term 'fruit loop' is used to describe someone with a mental illness," says one activist. "The cereal is spelt...
Morally Bankrupt TV Network Hires Conservative, Washed Up Host With Zero Credibility
An elderly self-serving commentator still desperate for attention has signed an exclusive deal with subscription TV channel Sky News to host a weeknight primetime program. Alan Jones will front his show - called 'Alan Jones' - at 8pm four nights...
Revealed: Chinese Hackers Are On The Hunt For Australian Baby Formula
Exclusive: DBT can reveal that state-backed Chinese hackers are infiltrating the inventory systems of major Australian chemists looking for baby formula supplies. DBT's China correspondent Jenna Henry was invited to watch the malicious hackers at work, on the strict condition...
PM Allows Stadium Crowds Of 10,000, As Hillsong Convention Approaches
The Prime Minister is denying claims that his decision to open stadiums to crowds of up to 10,000 is linked to the upcoming Hillsong convention in Sydney. "These are two completely seperate issues," says Scott Morrison. "The federal cabinet's announcement...
Nine Network Announce Pete Evans As Health Reporter for 60 Minutes
Controversial celebrity chef Pete Evans is taking the next step of his career, joining the 60 Minutes team as a full-time health reporter. "To be honest, I don't know that much about health or journalism, but I'm very happy to...
