National News

Men on MAFS yet to understand they need to rank their partner 1st in the photo challenge, regardless of how hot they are

PHOTO CHALLENGED: Men on MAFS are still struggling to comprehend a fundamental rule of the show's photo task, in which the cast are asked to rank other cast members of the opposite sex, in order of physical attractiveness. "After ten...
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Man who protested against Australia Day this morning, seen celebrating it this afternoon

MIXED MESSAGE: A Sydney man is accused of contradicting himself over his stance on Australia Day. This morning Lyle Thomas was seen protesting at an Invasion Day rally, but this afternoon he was photographed at an Australia Day BBQ, surrounded...
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#BREAKING: Man left red faced at Australia Day BBQ after yelling: ‘Aussie, Aussie Aussie…’ but nobody replied: ‘Oi Oi Oi’

AUSSIE BATTLER: Lunch hasn't even been served, but a Sydney man is already letting loose at an Australia Day BBQ today. After struggling to manage any lasting conversation with other guests, Chris Smithers decided to randomly yell out 'Aussie Aussie...
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New calls to change the Australia Day date to when Scott Morrison reportedly shat himself at Engadine Maccas

SHIT IDEA: In the absence of any obvious date to change Australia Day to, a group of activists say it should be the day Scott Morrison allegedly shat himself at Engadine McDonald's. Whether it's true or not, the rumour is...
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‘Don’t change the Australia Day date’ says white man still traumatised by the Coon Cheese rebrand

SET IN HIS WAYS: As Australian Day rolls around again, one Brisbane man is doing everything he can to ensure his voice is heard. “The date must remain January 26,” says Steve Waters. “It’s our basic civil right to celebrate...
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Local introvert wearing sign to prevent predictable small talk while walking his dog

CONVERSATION STOPPER: A local man has taken a unique approach to avoid the mundane chit chat that typically accompanies dog walking. Tom Halgos has begun wearing a sign around his neck with key information about his dog Holly to preempt...
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“It’s so easy to make time for exercise,” says fitness influencer without job, mortgage, children, social life or any other hobbies

JUST DO IT: A Sydney influencer is being accused of misleading her followers, after claiming she juggles a demanding daily schedule to fit in regular exercise. "You won't achieve your fitness goals by just thinking about them," Elise Jamison said...
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Chinese President joins calls to boycott Woolworths for not selling Chinese-made Australia Day merchandise

STRATEGIC ALLIANCE: In an unexpected twist in international relations, the Chinese President and Australia's opposition leader Peter Dutton have formed a rare alliance. Both are calling for a boycott of Woolworths over its decision to no longer stock special Australia...
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Bondi man on holiday in Byron Bay, complaining about how many Bondi people are there now

SUMMER GETAWAY: A Bondi man says his holiday to tourist hot spot Byron Bay is being overrun by 'absolute blow-ins' from Bondi. "I'm so sick of all these muppets," says Craig Hawke. "There are yoga instructors, digital nomads, and fashion...
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Sydney man refusing to leave his Noosa hotel room, as there are way too many people he knows at the pool

SELF-IMPOSED EXILE: It was meant to be a relaxing family holiday in Queensland, but it's quickly turned into a nightmare for one 28 year old Bondi man. Dan Haber is staying at the Noosa Sofitel with his parents and brother,...
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