National News

The Victorian Premier has hired an external communications team to read and analyse the 315 page hotel quarantine inquiry report which was tabled in parliament today. "It's a busy time for me leading up to Christmas," says Dan Andrews. "Plus...
A desperate bid to escape poverty, war and oppression in Afghanistan has been cut dramatically short. Around 55 Afghan asylum seekers on a boat bound for Sydney have decided to turn around after hearing about the Northern Beaches covid cluster. "We...
What started as a plan to get bikini-ready, has ended in a complete career overhaul. And it's all happened in three months. In September, Bondi's Elle Brockie set out to lose some weight. Today she's announced she's available for hire as...
With a Covid vaccine now on the horizon, federal health authorities say essential workers, the immunocompromised, and the elderly should be among those getting vaccinated first. Now attention is turning to who should be vaccinated last. "We believe people who say...
The Chinese Communist Party (CCP) is on the hunt for an internet troll, as China's tensions with Australia continue to erupt. In a job ad posted to online job site Seek, the CCP says its looking to employ a 'content...
Greg Norman has sparked a social media frenzy after posting an x-rated photo of himself with his dog on a Florida beach. "You don't have to look closely to see that semi," commented one fan. "Hopefully there are some other...
Annastacia Palaszczuk has finally announced the Queensland border will reopen to millions of people in NSW and Victoria on December 1. But the border will remain closed to one very important NSW resident. "Gladys Berejiklian is not welcome in Queensland," says...
Fresh from her brief but harrowing stint on the SAS Australia reality TV show, Roxy Jacenko says she's ready to share her insights into the horrors of war. The PR Queen has offered to give evidence to the Defence Force...
Australian bookseller Dymocks says it will donate its fast-growing stockpile of unwanted Pete Evans books to Adelaide supermarkets to help ease the city's toilet paper shortage. "We've already tried slashing the prices of these books to no avail," says Dymocks...
The text message war of words between the Queensland Premier and her NSW counterpart continues today. As the final siren sounded on Origin 2020 last night, Annastacia Palaszczuk was seen rushing out onto the field for a selfie with Maroons...

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