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Friday, June 9, 2023

Local News

HIDDEN TALENT: The purchase of a stylish chair from the Harvey Norman website has pushed a Sydney mother of two to make the next bold step in her career. Amy Bridge has changed her LinkedIn job title to 'Interior Designer'...
SPOILT FOR CHOICE: A frustrated and exhaustive three hour search of Netflix, Stan and Binge has ended in misery for one couple this evening. After just 11 minutes into a humourless 'comedy' show, both Pete Havas and his girlfriend Gabi...
TRADING PLACES: A local man is speaking candidly about how a visit to General Pants in Bondi Junction prompted an identity crisis. "I tried on some baggy jeans, and the next thing I knew, I was buying a beanie too....
HUSTLE CULTURE: A new report has confirmed a rapid and worrying expansion in the number of people offering 'business coaching' services. The Australian Bureau of Statistics analysed census data to find the number of business coaches now outnumbering business owners. "Data...
KALEIDOSCOPE OF COLOUR: With 'Vivid Sydney' now well underway, the state government has launched an extension of the iconic festival of lights, technology & arts. "It's called 'Vivid, South West Sydney,'" says Premier Chris Minns. "I've always wanted Vivid to...
DIGGING DEEP: A chance encounter in the street between two former colleagues has led to a completely unwarranted suggestion by one of them to "catch up sometime." "It caught me by surprise," Angela Hill told DBT. "It's a bit rich...
LIVID: In a collective groan heard across Sydney, boyfriends and husbands citywide are once again preparing themselves for the annual spectacle that is Vivid. The 23 day festival of light, music and ideas begins tonight, and local man Tom Phipps is...
WITHDRAWALS: A local Crypto enthusiast is echoing predictions that Australia's economy will be cashless by 2025. "Around 92% of all money worldwide is just digital. It's all just code bro,” Richard Thorpe told DBT. "Who even uses cash these days? Probably...
PENSIONER PATROL: NSW Police is setting its sights on elderly grandmothers who weigh 50 kilograms or less. "These senior citizens may look innocent and harmless," says Police Commissioner Mark Sparks. "But we believe they pose an unpredictable threat to public safety." "We've seen...
ARMED & READY: The NSW government has announced a radical new program to train nursing home residents on how to use Taser guns against police. "Police officers in this state can be erratic and unpredictable," admits the NSW Aged Care...

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