National News
Local introvert wearing sign to prevent predictable small talk while walking his dog
CONVERSATION STOPPER: A local man has taken a unique approach to avoid the mundane chit chat that typically accompanies dog walking. Tom Halgos has begun wearing a sign around his neck with key information about his dog Holly to preempt...
Chinese President joins calls to boycott Woolworths for not selling Chinese-made Australia Day merchandise
STRATEGIC ALLIANCE: In an unexpected twist in international relations, the Chinese President and Australia's opposition leader Peter Dutton have formed a rare alliance. Both are calling for a boycott of Woolworths over its decision to no longer stock special Australia...
Bondi man on holiday in Byron Bay, complaining about how many Bondi people are there now
SUMMER GETAWAY: A Bondi man says his holiday to tourist hot spot Byron Bay is being overrun by 'absolute blow-ins' from Bondi. "I'm so sick of all these muppets," says Craig Hawke. "There are yoga instructors, digital nomads, and fashion...
Sydney man refusing to leave his Noosa hotel room, as there are way too many people he knows at the pool
SELF-IMPOSED EXILE: It was meant to be a relaxing family holiday in Queensland, but it's quickly turned into a nightmare for one 28 year old Bondi man. Dan Haber is staying at the Noosa Sofitel with his parents and brother,...
Sydney father excited to see what he got his children for Christmas: Report
MYSTERY SHOPPER: A Sydney father who once again had zero involvement with the selection and purchase of his children's Christmas presents is this morning waiting with baited breath to find what out they got. "I leave gifting entirely up to...
News.com.au journalist sets new year’s resolution to report some real news, instead of his constant misleading clickbait
NEW HORIZONS: A news.com.au reporter is attempting to take the next brave step in his career. As a new year beckons, Harry Hackman has set a resolution to report some actual news, a huge departure from his standard sensational clickbait...
Adelaide singles now using Ancestry.com as a dating app: Report
INCESTRY.COM: A new report by Relationships Australia has found growing numbers of Adelaide singles are using Ancestry.com as their preferred matchmaking platform. "With a limited dating pool in Adelaide, many people have exhausted traditional dating apps like Tinder and Bumble,"...
“Christian Wilkins’ outfit is offensive!” claims man wearing Bintang singlet, Eels NRL shorts and a pair of Crocs
FASHION FAUX PAS: The outfit Christian Wilkins wore to last night's Aria awards has drawn an unsettling response. The 28 year old arrived at the star-studded event in a sheer dress, to the dismay of many, including one man from...
Man arriving at Tinder date claims to have come ‘straight from the office,’ just so he can wear a suit
DRESSED TO IMPRESS: A local man attempted to woo his Tinder date tonight, by turning up in an expensive Hugo Boss suit with tie and polished shoes. “Nice to finally meet you,” Justin De Mont was overheard saying to his...
Local woman uses friend’s b’day as thinly veiled excuse to post thirst trap photo of herself, with the friend barely visible
HOT GIRL SUMMER: A local woman has hijacked her friend's birthday, posting a flattering photo of herself with the birthday girl appearing out of focus in the background. Charlotte Masters' photo taken last night was posted to Instagram with the...
