National News

Man who dominates ‘the lads’ group chat with high quality banter, struggling to write half-decent sentence in birthday card to wife

WRITER'S BLOCK: Eric Hagen is known to his mates as "the King of Banter" for his razor-sharp chat in the boys WhatsApp group. But he's finding his quick wit and poignant prose harder to come by while writing a birthday...
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Local woman who spent $5k on a Prada handbag, still bitter about having to pay 25c for a Coles bag

CHECKED OUT: A Sydney woman who recently splashed out $5k on a handbag is still protesting increased costs at the supermarket checkout, after forgetting to bring a reusable bag. "Coles and Woolworths are highly profitable businesses," says Tanya Fazekas. "They...
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Winner of record $150 million Powerball celebrates by spending it all on two hours of parking at Sydney Airport

PARKING SPLURGE: The winner of the largest ever single-person lottery win in the country’s history, will most likely be remembered for how they spent it. Graham Rundle has celebrated his $150 million windfall by spending the entire sum on two...
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#BREAKING: Scientists find traces of nutrition in McDonald’s fries after a mop was dried under fries warmer

MOPPING UP: In a groundbreaking discovery that's left the fast food industry in shock, a team of scientists has found traces of actual nutrition in McDonald's fries. The unexpected find comes after a restaurant worker was filmed drying a dirty...
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Network TEN axes The Masked Singer Australia because nobody knew who the celebrities were, even after the big reveal

IDENTITY CRISIS: Network TEN has today confirmed the abrupt cancellation of "The Masked Singer Australia" amid widespread confusion over the identities of its purported celebrity contestants – even after the grand reveal. The reality singing competition that saw celebrities don...
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Seven Network announce new reality TV show: ‘A Renter Wants A Home’

HARSH REALITY: The Seven Network says it aims to highlight the severity of Sydney's rental crisis with its latest reality TV offering 'A Renter Wants A Home.' "It's not for the faint hearted," says Seven programming boss Steve Yardley. "It's...
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COST OF LIVING CRISIS: Fitness lovers now doing their daily workout in the weights section at Rebel Sport

SHOPLIFTING: Soaring gym membership prices are proving no obstacle for an enterprising group of people who are now doing their daily workout at Rebel Sport in the CBD. "I've been coming here everyday," one man told DBT while lifting weights...
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Man getting grief from wife for never cleaning the bathroom, finally swings into action by putting two anti-bacterial drops in the toilet bowl

DEEP CLEAN: A Sydney husband is making bold moves to quell his wife's growing anger and resentment over his lack of effort around the house. With their shared bathroom looking like it just hosted a mud wrestling tournament, David Bell...
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“I’m marrying Rupert for his sexy body and good looks,” reports Murdoch press

LEAD STORY: News Corp media outlets around the world are today reporting that it was Rupert Murdoch's 'sexy' body and good looks which lured his sixth wife-to-be. The Australian newspaper quotes Murdoch's new fiancee Elena Zhukova, 67, saying: "I never...
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Instagram introduces new feature allowing users to mute all content relating to Taylor Swift

ANTI-HERO: Social media platform Instagram has responded to growing demand from users to introduce a mute option for any content relating to pop superstar Taylor Swift. “Our AI software can easily identify any photos, videos or text about her, so...
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