National News

Man clicks ‘unmute’ for the first time during work Zoom call, just to say goodbye

OVER & OUT: A local tech firm employee has shocked colleagues on a Zoom call while working from home today. Simon Schiller came off mute for the first time during a 40 minute zoom call just to say: "Goodbye, chat...
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HIGH FLYERS: Valium announced as sponsor of Qantas’ new ultra long-haul flights

CHILL PILL: Passengers on Qantas' new long haul flights will be given a 5mg tablet of anxiety medication Valium, under a new sponsorship deal announced today by the airline. "Flying almost 20 hours non-stop can be a stressful experience for...
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InstaFit: Fitness First now offering discount memberships to those only using their phones

PHONE PLAN: As recession fears continue to bite, global gym chain Fitness First is offering relief to Australian household budgets. "Our research shows up to 14% of our members come to the gym and are on their phones pretty much...
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“Let me help you grow your Instagram page,” says ‘social media expert’ with 194 followers

GROWTH HACKER: A self-described 'social media expert' is offering to help those looking to boost their Instagram profiles, despite boasting a personal following of only 194. Joel Salanti reportedly slid into a local woman's DM's, attempting to sell his services....
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Seven Network announce Ben Roberts-Smith as a contestant on the next season of SAS Australia

BACK ON THE FRONT LINE: The Seven Network continues to stand by its controversial Queensland managing director Ben Roberts-Smith. The decorated war criminal has this evening been announced as a contestant on season two of Seven's reality TV show SAS...
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Alfie Langer still wondering how he made selection for this 1991 ad with Tina Turner

PIN UP BOY: The passing of the Queen of Rock 'n' Roll Tina Turner has raised some unanswered questions for one former footballer. Back in the early 1990's, pre-eminent halfback Alfie Langer was featured in an NRL ad alongside Tina...
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Nine Network announce new reality TV show: ‘A Renter Wants A Home’

HARSH REALITY: The Nine Network says it aims to highlight the severity of Sydney's rental crisis with its latest reality TV offering 'A Renter Wants A Home.' "It's not for the faint hearted," says Nine programming boss Steve Yardley. "It's...
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Local influencer heroically survives this morning’s Instagram outage largely unscathed

SURVIVOR: A self-described 'influencer' has told of her harrowing ordeal this morning, when Instagram suddenly went offline for one hour. "I was having my breakfast at the time," says Jamie Rogers. "It felt surreal." "I took a selfie with my...
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Woman ‘likes’ photo of friends out to dinner, purely to drive home the point that she wasn’t invited

PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE: Scandal and controversy has ripped through a small group of close friends in Sydney's east. While scrolling Instagram this morning, Amber Ripoli saw a photo of her three best friends out for dinner. "It hurt a lot," she...
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COST OF LIVING CRISIS: Anthony Albanese now driving an Uber on weekends

SIDE HUSTLE: Australia's Prime Minister has been moonlighting as an Uber driver on weekends amidst the ongoing cost of living crisis. A startled passenger recognised the Labor Party leader yesterday and promptly shared details of their encounter with DBT. "I'm...
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