National News

Flat chested white woman calling for name change of ‘Flat White’ coffee

NAME GAME: A flat chested local woman has begun a campaign to change the name of 'flat white' coffees. Miranda Coombes says she enjoys flat white coffees, but gets embarrassed every time she tries to order one. "I feel the...
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Melbourne man quickly deletes his ‘Nup To The Cup’ Instagram post, after getting a late invite to The Birdcage

YUP TO THE CUP: A Melbourne man is being accused of backflipping on his pledge to avoid getting involved in today's Melbourne Cup. Mark Tyson posted a personalised 'Nup To The Cup' image to his Instagram last week, but a...
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Rose Bay man accused of ‘cultural appropriation’ after going to Halloween party dressed as a resident of Newtown

HIPSTER HIJACK: An eastern suburbs man is ruffling feathers in the inner west tonight, after going to a Halloween party dressed as a Newtown resident. Typically James Mathers-Reid hangs out at the Golden Sheaf, wearing polo shirts with popped collars...
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Raygun applies to do a PhD in modelling after appearing on the front cover of Stellar Magazine

STUNNING AND BRAVE: Former break dancer Raygun has announced a career transition after appearing on the front cover of lifestyle and fashion title Stellar Magazine. After her controversial break dancing appearance at the Paris Olympics, the 37 year old from...
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#BREAKING: Visiting King Charles and Queen Camilla fail to get a table at Totti’s Bondi

NOT FIT FOR A KING: King Charles and Queen Camilla were unceremoniously turned away today from Totti’s Bondi, a popular Italian eatery on Bondi Road. “Sorry your Majesty, we are booked out till April 14 next year,” the door girl...
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Eastern suburbs residents now fearing for PM’s wellbeing, after learning he can only afford a house worth $4.3 million

HOUSING CRISIS: Residents of Sydney's affluent eastern suburbs are in shock this morning, after learning the Prime Minister and his fiancee could only afford a house worth a mere $4.3 million. The news has left many locals questioning Anthony Albanese's...
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“How good! From tomorrow we get an extra hour of daylight!” says man who spends every single afternoon indoors scrolling TikTok

DAYLIGHT ROBBERY: Sydney man Lucas Silva says he's "so pumped" about the start of daylight saving tomorrow. “I've been waiting for this all winter,” he said. "Every day I'll be going straight from work to the beach. I think I'm...
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Local man forced to quit job so he can work full-time on reading emails from his son’s school

CAREER SHIFT: A Sydney man has waved goodbye to his 13 year career in finance after becoming "completely overwhelmed" by a flood of emails from his son's school. "Reading all these messages has unfortunately become my full-time job," Mark Ishan...
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“Let’s circle back in the new year,” now perfectly acceptable to say at work, given its already October: Report

DOWN TOOLS: As summer fast approaches and the beach beckons, Australian workers are once again delaying the inevitable: their jobs. 'Let's chat about this again in early February,' or 'that sounds like next year's problem,' were traditionally phrases reserved for...
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“Oh well, there’s always next year!” says Paddington man who only started supporting the Swans yesterday

DIE-HARD FAN: A Paddington man is putting on a brave face tonight after the Sydney Swans' loss to the Brisbane Lions in the AFL Grand Final. Peter Anderson was among hundreds of other bandwagon Swans fans watching the game at...
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