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Abbie Chatfield Admits To Intentionally Swimming In Dangerous Rips, Just To Get On ‘Bondi Rescue’
CAREER RESCUE: Controversial reality TV star Abbie Chatfield has come clean on her high-risk strategy to ensure she continues to appear on Australian television. "I've been swimming into heavy surf and dangerous rips at North Bondi when the Bondi Rescue...
PM Now Advertising For Federal Cabinet Ministers On Seek, Amid Liberal Party Exodus
LABOR SHORTAGE: The federal Liberal Party is on the hunt for fresh faces after losing three senior cabinet ministers in the space of 24 hours. "As we move toward the federal election next year, we need new talent as quickly...
Recently Separated Man Devastated He Can’t Keep Things In His Wife’s Handbag Anymore
BURDEN TO CARRY: For the last three years Andrew Prasad has enjoyed keeping his keys, asthma spray and other assorted items in his wife's handbag. But after separating from her last week, the 31 year old has been left devastated....
“Let’s Crack Down On FB Trolls,” Says Leader Of Parliament Where 33% Of Staff Are Sexually Harassed
BLAME GAME: One day after revelations that 1 in 3 parliamentary staff are sexually harassed, and 50% bullied, the PM has announced an inquiry into the toxic impacts of social media. "I've heard of some disgusting behaviour happening on Facebook...
Divorce Rates Plummet In Sydney’s East As Cosmetic Clinics Reopen: Report
COUPLE'S GOALS: The reopening of cosmetic clinics in Sydney's east has triggered a significant drop in the number of couples filing for divorce, according to a new report. The NSW Registry of Births Deaths & Marriages says divorce rates in...
SKIN IN THE GAME: Man Now Only Socialising With People Who Have Crypto Portfolios Above $100k
CRYPTO CREW: A Sydney cryptocurrency enthusiast has announced a new plan to only spend time with people who are also heavily invested in digital currencies. "Time is money," says James Tyler. "And the crypto market is open 24/7 so I...
Mum With 3 Kids, Dog & A Mortgage Posts ‘Throw Back’ Pic From When She Actually Had A Life
WAY BACK WHEN: A local mother of three has once again resorted to posting old photos of herself to make her life seem interesting on Instagram. Today Lara Clarke posted a photo of herself dancing and drinking at a pool...
‘Dangerous Emissions’: PM To Achieve Net Zero By Not Shitting Himself At Engadine Maccas
SHIT PLAN: The Prime Minister has begun unveiling some much needed details about Australia's plan to achieve net zero carbon emissions by 2050. "We all need to do everything we can to reduce harmful gas emissions," says Scott Morrison. "And...
Local Man Unhappy With $30 Wash Of His Car Worth $400k, Done By Workers On $19 An Hour
DRIVEN MAD: A Double Bay retiree has been lecturing the local car wash manager about the quality of the wax job on his vehicle. "How hard can it be to get a decent wash and polish these days?" asked Phil...
Man Waiting For Gap In Conversation So He Can Start Talking About Crypto Again
MARKET MOVER: It was meant to be a laid back catch up with friends, but it ended up being a Cryptocurrency masterclass. While out for lunch at Indigo cafe in Double Bay, David Rogers went to extraordinary lengths to repeatedly...
