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Roxy Jacenko Now In Training For Australian Ninja Warrior
Roxy Jacenko's quest for reality TV stardom is set to continue, despite her brief and embarrassing appearance on SAS Australia. "I'm putting SAS Australia behind me. I'm now in training for the next season of Australian Ninja Warrior," says the...
Pill Testing Allowed & Drug Dogs Scrapped, Under NSW Premier’s Plan To Repair Her Reputation
The NSW Premier has announced the withdrawal of her government's strict drug policies, as she attempts to win back voter support. "We are scrapping sniffer dogs and allowing pill testing, effective early next month in time for summer," says Gladys...
ICAC Announces Plan To Phone Tap All Australian Politicians, Just In Case
Every phone call involving all Australian politicians will be phone tapped under a new plan announced by the Independent Commission Against Corruption. (ICAC) It comes after phone tap recordings of the NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian uncovered a secret 'close relationship'...
Network TEN Announce Gladys Berejiklian As The Next Bachelorette
Network TEN has announced the New South Wales Premier will be next season's Bachelorette. "She's been notoriously unlucky in love," says TEN's programming boss Steve Pearson. "So we're excited to help Gladys find that special person." It's not the first...
NSW Residents Calling For Less Details About Gladys Berejiklian’s Love Life
Residents across New South Wales are today expressing frustration about having intimate details of Gladys Berejiklian's love life splashed all over the media. Her ex-boyfriend, former Liberal MP Daryl Maguire, has given evidence today at an ICAC probe into Ms...
Annastacia Palaszczuk Selected For Queensland State Of Origin Rugby League Team
The Queensland Premier will make her State of Origin debut next month after impressing Maroons selectors. "She's got fire in the belly," says Queensland head coach Wayne Bennett. "At this stage she's not in the starting line up, but she...
Man Scared To Read News & Find Out What Offensively Stupid Things Trump Does Next
A Sydney man has implemented a full news media blackout in a desperate bid to avoid finding out about Donald Trump's deluded antics. "I get too upset about how the supposed 'leader of the free world' can be such a...
#BREAKING: Infected US President Makes Surprise Visit To Nursing Home
The US President has made a surprise visit to a nursing home in the US state of Maryland, near to the hospital where he's being treated for Covid-19. "Don't worry folks, Covid is actually not that bad," said Donald Trump....
China Halts Its Covid Vaccine Testing Program After Trump Tests Positive
Despite Scott Morrison's recent plea for all countries to work together on releasing a Covid vaccine, China has today announced a pause in its vaccine research. "We already have several vaccines in late-stage trials," said one Chinese official on state...
Melania Demands Trump Stay 1.5M From Her At All Times, As They Both Test Positive For Covid
The US President Donald Trump and his wife have gone into quarantine after they both tested positive for Coronavirus a short time ago. The White House has announced strict quarantine laws will apply, and Melania Trump is enforcing some tough...
