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Army Steps In To Help Uber Eats Amid Booming Demand For Food Delivery During Lockdown
DISASTER RELIEF: The Army has launched an emergency operation to help food ordering and delivery platform Uber Eats, which has been stretched to breaking point during Sydney's lockdown. Unprecedented demand for food home delivery has led to a severe shortage...
McDonald’s Announce Record Profit For CBD Outlets Today, As Police Descend On The City
Fast food giant McDonald's has announced a record daily profit for its Sydney CBD outlets, as more than 1300 police officers descended on the city. "Today we saw revenue up more than 5000% for outlets within the city ring," says...
Weekend Walk: Friends Use ‘Two Person Rule’ To Exclude Third Friend They Find Annoying
A Sydney woman has found herself feeling lonely and isolated after being rejected by her two friends during lockdown this morning. "They told me I couldn't join them on the Bondi to Bronte walk because of the social distancing rules...
Army Launch Surprise Attack On Bondi Beach Outdoor Gym, Targeting Groups Larger Than Two
FROM THE LAND, SEA & AIR: The Australian Defence Force launched has a full scale assault on Bondi Beach outdoor gym, targeting groups larger than two. "I've said it before and I'll say it again, we will do whatever it...
PM Offers Anti-Lockdown Demonstrators Free Flights To Christmas Island, So They Can Protest There
An immigration detention centre on Christmas Island will be used to house anti-lockdown protesters under a new plan announced by the federal government. "The right to protest is a defining feature of liberal democracy," says PM Scott Morrison. "That's why...
DBT STARTER KIT: For Violent Anti-Lockdown Protesters
FREeDOm fIgHTeR: If you'd like to be part of the violent anti-lockdown protest movement, there's a few important things you'll need before getting started. Firstly, a bandana is a must-have for that bad boy rebel image. Wearing a bandana will...
Unrelenting Flow Of Reality TV Saves Woman From Having To Think About Her Own Life
A bleak combination of winter, Covid-19 and general laziness is forcing Sydney's Ange Pulver to use reality TV to find meaning and purpose in her own life. "I'm really invested in all the contestants on Beauty and the Geek," she...
Elon Musk To Re-Claim Title Of ‘Richest Person On Earth’ While Jeff Bezos Is In Space
Elon Musk knows what it feels like to be the richest person on earth. He's desperate to feel it again. That's why the 50 year old is set to re-claim the title when Jeff Bezos goes into space later today....
Couple Appeal Fine For Having Sex In A Car, Claiming To Be Exercising In A Group Of Two
SEX CRIME: A Sydney couple are appealing a $1100 fine for having sex in their car, claiming it counts as essential exercise. The pair were handed an infringement notice for 'indecent exposure' after police caught them having sex in their...
#BREAKING: Network TEN Announce Real Estate Mogul Simon Cohen As The Next Bachelor
RISING STAR: Eastern suburbs real estate mogul Simon Cohen is taking the next big leap in his reality TV career after being announced as the next Bachelor. Network TEN's announcement comes shortly after the buyers agent's appearance on Amazon Prime's...
