Analysis
“Stop Being Such Absolute Battlers” PM Lashes Out At Toilet Paper Hoarders
A fired up Prime Minster has once again lashed out at supermarket shoppers hoarding toilet paper, as fears rise of a second Coronavirus outbreak. "Seriously, we've been though this once already," says Scott Morrison. "There are no toilet paper supply...
Calls To Rename ‘Froot Loops’ Cereal To Avoid Offending People With Mental Illness
Mental health groups are calling for an urgent renaming of the popular children's breakfast cereal 'Froot Loops.' "All too often, the term 'fruit loop' is used to describe someone with a mental illness," says one activist. "The cereal is spelt...
Morally Bankrupt TV Network Hires Conservative, Washed Up Host With Zero Credibility
An elderly self-serving commentator still desperate for attention has signed an exclusive deal with subscription TV channel Sky News to host a weeknight primetime program. Alan Jones will front his show - called 'Alan Jones' - at 8pm four nights...
New Zealand PM Announces ‘All Blacks’ To Be Renamed ‘Some Blacks’
The New Zealand Prime Minister has announced the country's national Rugby Union team will change its name in a push for racial equality. "From today New Zealand's Rugby team will be officially known as the 'Some Blacks," says Jacinda Ardern....
#BREAKING: Woolworths Stops Stocking Charcoal Masks Amid Racism Fears
Supermarket giant Woolworths announced that charcoal, mud and clay masks are no longer available within its stores. "We believe some customers may be using the masks in an attempt to depict a person of colour," says a statement from Woolworths....
Netflix Removes All Music Videos, Concerts & Movies Featuring Eminem
Streaming platform Netflix has today announced the removal of all content featuring American rapper Eminem. "Eminem is clearly a white person trying to act black," says Netflix CEO Howard Riner. "We believe this amounts to perpetuating racial stereotypes and racism."...
Doctors Concerned Hospitals Will Run Out Of Intensive Care Beds As Police Brutality Spreads
There's increasing concern among doctors that a sharp rise in police brutality could overwhelm Australia's medical system. "Demand for Australia's existing 2,200 intensive care unit beds could be exceeded within a few weeks," warns Dr Harry Moncur at St Vincent's...
China Announces 80% Tariff On All Australian Imports, Except Bats, Snakes & Frogs
China has widened its Australian trade boycott, today announcing an 80% tariff on all Australian imports. From next Tuesday, Beijing says the tariff will be applied to Australian iron ore, coal, beef, goats, sheep, dairy and wine. The tariff has...
Man Doing ‘Push-Up Challenge’ To Show Off Triceps Instead Of Supporting Mental Health
A Melbourne man has admitted to taking part in a fundraising event purely to show off his arm muscles. The Push-Up Challenge asks Australians to push ups to raise money for mental health. "I didn't even know it was a...
“The Wuhan Wet Market Is Much Safer Than Australian Beef,” Says China’s President
China's hopes of being treated like a genuine first world country have taken another turn for the worse. The communist nation yesterday suddenly announced the suspension of imports from four Australian red meat abattoirs, over "labelling and health certificate requirements."...
