Analysis
Ronaldo overlooked for selection in friendly 5 v 5 football game at Rushcutters Bay Park
DOWN & OUT: Things are going from bad to worse for the world's most famous football player. Cristiano Ronaldo has been knocked back for a friendly game of 5 on 5 at Rushcutters Bay Park in Sydney's east. "Sorry mate,...
Crossing The Road To Avoid Small Talk With Acquaintances, Can Save You Up To 2 Days A Year: Report
THE GREAT ESCAPE: A landmark new report has shed light on the significant time savings available to those willing to avoid friends and acquaintances on the street. "Often I see people I know walking toward me on the same footpath,...
WARNING: Boomer On The Loose, Attempting Small Talk With Strangers About The Rain
GOOD CHAT: Sydney-siders are being advised to avoid a retiree who is allegedly walking around trying to engage strangers in conversation about the rain. "The woman is described as friendly, with brown hair and probably around 60 years old," says...
Facebook Changes Name Of ‘People You May Know’ Section To: ‘People You’re Trying To Avoid’
NO GO ZONE: Eagle-eyed social media users have noticed a small change to their Facebook interface. Overnight Facebook has changed the name of its ‘People you may know’ section to ‘People you’re trying to avoid.’ “We think the name change...
Local Personal Trainer Now Offering Unwanted Life Advice
LIFE COACH: A Sydney personal trainer is taking the next brave step in his two year personal training career. "The pandemic and economic issues continue to take a big toll on mental health," says Blake Bourke. "That's why I'm now...
Local Fund Manager Now Wearing R.M. Williams To Appeal To Former Private School Students
CASH GRAB: Julian Houghton spends his time meeting with institutional and private investors from the top end of town. He spruiks the performance of his funds, moving between city skyscrapers while proudly wearing a pair of boots designed for the...
Abortion Banned In Parts Of USA, So Children Can Live Long Enough To Be Shot Dead At High School
FULL STORY: Almost half of all US states are set to either ban or severely restrict abortion in the US, after the supreme court overturned the national right to terminations. "It's important to protect the rights of unborn Americans," says...
Woolworths Now Offering Afterpay For Lettuce Purchases
RELIEF AT THE CHECKOUT: With lettuce prices showing no sign of abating, Woolworths has taken the unprecedented step of offering Afterpay for an individual grocery item. "Retail lettuce prices seem locked in at around $10 a head, at least for...
Old Friendship Now Consists Solely Of Tagging Each Other In Memes
Two local men say their friendship is as strong as ever, even though they haven't spoken in six years. Old mates Harry Rollo and Phil Shoebridge say their friendship now consists entirely of tagging each other in memes on Facebook...
Local Woman Selling Her Clothes On FB Marketplace Purely For The Modelling Experience
BIG BREAK: A Sydney woman is taking the next brave step in her fledgling modelling career. Lucy London has updated her Instagram bio to 'Fashion Model' after listing some of her clothes on Facebook Marketplace. "I can't believe it's finally...
