Analysis

Sydney Woman Employs Computer Hackers To Secure Her A Table At Catalina For Freedom Day

FREEDOM DAY HACK: Desperate times call for desperate measures. After three unsuccessful weeks of trying to secure a booking at Catalina on Freedom Day, a Darling Point woman is taking matters into her own hands. "I've hired a team of...
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Man Now Only Dating Unvaccinated Women To Save On Restaurant Bills

CHEAP DATE: A Melbourne man has found a clever way to save money during the pandemic. David Druitt is now only dating unvaccinated women, as a strategic way to avoid expensive restaurant and bar bills. "Unvaccinated people can only go...
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#BREAKING: Britney Spears Is Finally Freed Of Her Fitness First Membership

FREE BRITNEY: After a year-long legal battle against multinational gym chain Fitness First, Britney Spears is finally free. A Los Angeles judge has ordered the gym to immediately end the pop star's two-year membership. "Fitness First's strict lock-in contract was...
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QLD Premier Slowly Realising That Being A Power Tripping Bully Doesn’t Necessarily Stop Covid

The Queensland Premier is reportedly trying to come to terms with the harsh reality that draconian border closures and a bad attitude won't necessarily stop Covid. "Damn, I was pretty sure that locking up the state and tearing families apart...
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Stunning & Brave: Curly Haired Woman Goes Outside Without Straightening Her Hair First

CURLY SITUATION: A Melbourne woman has taken a brave step forward today, ditching a decades old routine of always straightening her hair before she goes out. "I needed some milk from the convenience store," says Amanda Miller. "It's only about...
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Woman Asking For Recommendations On Facebook, Clearly Just Looking For Social Activity

REACHING OUT: A Sydney woman is being accused of trying to drum up social activity, under the guise of asking for recommendations on Facebook. "Hey FB fam," Sarah Marsh's status update began. "Anyone know of an alterations place open in...
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“I’m Dying For A Beer At The Pub,” Says Man Who’s Been Drunk At Home For The Last 6 Weeks

THIRSTY WORK: A Sydney man who's spent 95% of lockdown pissed at home says he can't wait to go to the pub for a beer. "That very first sip is going to be so good," says Flynn Ryan, despite having...
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Son uses Father’s Day as excuse to post pic from when he was younger & better looking

A Perth man has seized on Father's Day to post an Instagram throw back photo of himself drinking with his dad 11 years ago. The son, Damien Kramer, appears as a 36 year old, sitting on grass alongside his father...
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‘You Need To See Me Every 6 Months’ Orders Dentist Who Hasn’t Visited His Grandma In 3 Years

A local dentist is being criticised for not visiting his sick grandmother in three years, despite ordering all his patients to visit him every 6 months. Marc Newbold’s patients say they're shocked to hear he’s neglecting his own family. “He...
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Telstra Tackles Customer Service Backlog By Hiring A Second Phone Operator

Telstra customers facing internet outages and other technical problems may be a step closer to finding a solution. The telco's call centre team has been doubled overnight, as it attempts to tackle a huge backlog of customer service calls. "We...
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