Analysis
QLD Premier Says Border Will Open To Sydney When The Broncos Win Another Premiership
With voting set to open in the Queensland election today, the state's Premier has made a last minute election promise. "The Queensland border will remain closed to all Sydney residents until the Brisbane Broncos bring home another NRL Premiership," says...
New Laws Mean AusPost Execs Can Now Only Be Gifted Items That Are On Sale In Australia Post Shops
The federal government has announced that Australia Post's hardest working executives can now only be rewarded with items for sale in AusPost shops. "There is plenty to choose from," says Scott Morrison. "There are stationery supplies, toys for children and...
Banks Report Influx Of $300 ATM Withdrawals At Richmond Victoria, After Tigers Win Grand Final
Australia's big four banks say they noticed an unprecedented amount of $300 cash withdrawals from ATM's in the inner Melbourne suburb of Richmond last night. "There was a flurry of withdrawals around 9.45pm," says Westpac's Jane Hilder. "It all seemed...
PM Promises Federal ICAC “As Soon As Australia Has 28 Days Of No Community Covid Transmission”
The Prime Minister is taking a leaf out of the Queensland Premier's book, using '28 days of no community transmission' as a requirement for taking much needed action. In Anastasia Palaczuck's case, it's about opening up the QLD/NSW border. In...
‘Cocaine Cassie’ To Replace Outgoing Schapelle Corby On SAS Australia
Channel 7’s intense new reality TV offering SAS Australia will have another convicted drug smuggler in its ranks. Cassandra Sainsbury - also known as Cocaine Cassie - is stepping up as a surprise replacement for Schapelle Corby, who quit the...
Nation Relieved To Hear Gladys Berejiklian Is Getting Some Action
Supporters of Gladys Berejiklian say she's "done nothing wrong" after her shock admission to having a close personal relationship with disgraced former MP Daryl Maguire. "It's a hard world for single people past a certain age," says political commentator Jene...
NSW Residents Calling For Less Details About Gladys Berejiklian’s Love Life
Residents across New South Wales are today expressing frustration about having intimate details of Gladys Berejiklian's love life splashed all over the media. Her ex-boyfriend, former Liberal MP Daryl Maguire, has given evidence today at an ICAC probe into Ms...
Annastacia Palaszczuk Selected For Queensland State Of Origin Rugby League Team
The Queensland Premier will make her State of Origin debut next month after impressing Maroons selectors. "She's got fire in the belly," says Queensland head coach Wayne Bennett. "At this stage she's not in the starting line up, but she...
Man Scared To Read News & Find Out What Offensively Stupid Things Trump Does Next
A Sydney man has implemented a full news media blackout in a desperate bid to avoid finding out about Donald Trump's deluded antics. "I get too upset about how the supposed 'leader of the free world' can be such a...
#BREAKING: China’s President Refers To Covid-19 As “The White House Virus”
China's President has wished Donald Trump and his wife Melania "a speedy recovery" after they were diagnosed with Covid-19. But Xi JinPing has also used his address on Chinese state TV to criticise the White house. "The White House Virus...
