Analysis
“This view of Botany Bay looks just like the Mediterranean,” says Bondi Junction realtor who’s never been overseas
BOLD CLAIMS: A young Sydney real estate agent trying to sell a Bondi Junction one-bedder is claiming the view over Botany Bay "looks just like the Mediterranean." "They could film White Lotus here," agent Mark Henshaw joked to some potential buyers....
Local man with limited pocket space forced to decide between his vape and his asthma inhaler
POCKET PRIORITIES: A local man preparing to catch up with an old friend today is struggling to decide between two vital companions. With his slim-fit jean pockets already filled with his phone, keys and wallet Peter Cook only has space...
DAMAGE CONTROL: NRL announce all players must now put their phones on flight mode while partying
FUN MODE: The NRL is today taking unprecedented action to reduce the risk of players' embarrassing social media posts, ill-advised selfies, or even incoherent texts. "Modern communication technology continues to prove a challenge for many players," says a statement from...
Local social media addict now using a guide dog so he doesn’t need to look up from his phone
SCREEN TIME: Visually impaired Australians are expressing deep concern about a local man using a guide dog as a way to avoid looking up from his mobile phone. "It's so convenient," says lifestyle influencer Jake Bradley-Holmes. "I can walk around...
Sydney man still basing his entire personality on going to Burning Man back in 2016
BURNER: It's already been seven years since Harry Stevens went to Burning Man, but he says he's still feeling the effects. "It was a life changing experience," he told DBT. "I've become a part of Burning Man, and Burning Man...
Coles introduce strict limit on how many avocados shoppers can squeeze before committing to one
SMASHED AVO: Coles has announced that shoppers will be limited to squeezing no more than three avocados before making their selection. "So for example if you're shopping with one other person, you can squeeze 6 avocados between you," says a...
#BREAKING: PM announces public holiday to help all Australians recover from Matildas’ loss
THERAPY DAY: The Prime Minister has just announced a new public holiday to allow Australians a chance to recuperate from the Matildas heart-wrenching semi-final loss. "This is a crucial step for the nation's collective well-being," says Anthony Albanese. Slated for...
Divorcee CEO demanding return to office, purely so he can sleaze onto the executive assistants
UP CLOSE & PERSONAL: A recently divorced CEO has issued a company-wide mandate for a complete return to the office, despite the ongoing success of remote work. "We all crave face to face interaction," Mike Wright told staff during an...
AWKWARD SILENCE: Local couple run out of things to talk about, after three years of marriage
ON MUTE: A flourishing & vibrant emotional connection between a Sydney man and his wife has reportedly come to a disappointing end after three years of marriage. "We used to talk so much. About our hopes, dreams, fears and funny...
Man’s ‘throwback’ Insta post from Mykonos 2015, outperforming posts by his friends currently in Mykonos
WAY BACK WHEN: A local man has had a surprisingly warm reception to his 'Throwback Thursday' Instagram post. Seizing on the opportunity of today being Thursday, 35 year old Mark Taverner shared a photo of himself in Mykonos from eight...
