Analysis
Conversation With Mother About Coronavirus Enters 50th Minute
Sydney's Gary Teele has been held up on the phone with his mother for almost an hour talking about Covid-19. "Did you see how many new cases there are today?" asked his mother. "it's just shocking." "Yes mum, I've actually...
Man Sends Work Email But Fails To Include The Phrase: ‘I Hope You’re Staying Safe And Well’
An insurance salesperson has lost his job after failing to include the words: 'I hope you're staying safe and well,' in a work-related email. Rob Hanbury yesterday emailed a colleague in the accounting department to check some expense reports, completely...
Elon Musk To Re-Claim Title Of ‘Richest Person On Earth’ While Jeff Bezos Is In Space
Elon Musk knows what it feels like to be the richest person on earth. He's desperate to feel it again. That's why the 50 year old is set to re-claim the title when Jeff Bezos goes into space later today....
Ch 7 Announce Pauline Hanson As Replacement For Katie Hopkins On Celebrity Big Brother
One Nation Leader Pauline Hanson has agreed to take Katie Hopkins' spot on Celebrity Big Brother, it's been confirmed. "We're relieved and excited Pauline has accepted our offer," says Seven programming executive Mike Hanley. "We need another far-right, racist type...
Sydney Cocaine Dealer Now Also Offering Illegal Home Visit Haircuts
BLACK MARKET: As Sydney enters its third week of lockdown, a local cocaine dealer is taking advantage of hair salon closures by also offering illegal home visit haircuts. "It's a handy two in one service," says Tony Werkhoven. "I'm in...
PM Reveals Australia’s Confronting New Covid Advert Was Directed By Stephen King
FEAR FACTOR: Legendary horror writer Stephen King was the brains behind the federal government's confronting new TV advertisement warning about the dangers of Covid-19. The 30 second clip shows a terrified young woman struggling to breath on a ventilator. "Obviously...
Western Sydney Warning: Wearing Adidas Tracksuits Does Not Count As Doing Essential Exercise
The NSW Premier has issued a stern warning to residents of Western Sydney, as the city's Covid outbreak grows. "Leaving home in an Adidas tracksuit without any plans to do any actual exercise is a breach of public health orders,"...
Beauty & Cosmetic Clinic Closures Forcing More People To Wear Face Masks: Report
New research shows a dramatic rise in the number of people wearing face masks is not linked to fears about Coronavirus. "It's due to the ongoing closures of cosmetic and beauty clinics," says Lin Harmen from consumer group Choice. "People...
Man Who Loves Working From Home Pretending To Be Sad About Extended Lockdown
A local sales executive is flexing his acting skills today, pretending to be upset about the extended lockdown set to be announced by the NSW Premier. "I'm really missing all of you guys," Ben Hutton told colleagues on this morning's...
Major Supermarkets Join Forces To Launch ‘Toilet Paper Near Me’ App
Supermarket shoppers have been given a new weapon in the fight for toilet paper. A new app called 'Toilet Paper Near Me' allows consumers to easily see which supermarkets currently have toilet paper in stock. "As panic buying continues in...
