Analysis
Prisoner Requests More Time Behind Bars In Desperate Bid To Avoid Sydney Lockdown
A prisoner at Sydney's Long Bay correctional centre has formally requested an extension to his jail sentence, as he seeks to avoid the city's harsh lockdown measures. "I prefer it on the inside ey," Mick Danks told DBT. "I might...
#BREAKING: Man In Singles Bubble For Ten Days, Still Not Getting Any Action
HIGH AND DRY: Tensions are high between a Sydney man and his female singles bubble buddy. For the last 10 days, Mark Wilbur and Jessica French have been in an exclusive singles bubble as per public health rules, however there...
Sydney Chemists Now Also Offering AstraZeneca In Powder Form To Encourage Vaccinations
Community resistance to the AstraZeneca jab has led authorities to consider new ways of administering the vaccine. “Our research shows Sydney residents are significantly more comfortable consuming the vaccine in powder form," says Dan McIntyre from NSW Health. That's why,...
Conversation With Mother About Coronavirus Enters 50th Minute
Sydney's Gary Teele has been held up on the phone with his mother for almost an hour talking about Covid-19. "Did you see how many new cases there are today?" asked his mother. "it's just shocking." "Yes mum, I've actually...
Man Sends Work Email But Fails To Include The Phrase: ‘I Hope You’re Staying Safe And Well’
An insurance salesperson has lost his job after failing to include the words: 'I hope you're staying safe and well,' in a work-related email. Rob Hanbury yesterday emailed a colleague in the accounting department to check some expense reports, completely...
Elon Musk To Re-Claim Title Of ‘Richest Person On Earth’ While Jeff Bezos Is In Space
Elon Musk knows what it feels like to be the richest person on earth. He's desperate to feel it again. That's why the 50 year old is set to re-claim the title when Jeff Bezos goes into space later today....
Ch 7 Announce Pauline Hanson As Replacement For Katie Hopkins On Celebrity Big Brother
One Nation Leader Pauline Hanson has agreed to take Katie Hopkins' spot on Celebrity Big Brother, it's been confirmed. "We're relieved and excited Pauline has accepted our offer," says Seven programming executive Mike Hanley. "We need another far-right, racist type...
Sydney Cocaine Dealer Now Also Offering Illegal Home Visit Haircuts
BLACK MARKET: As Sydney enters its third week of lockdown, a local cocaine dealer is taking advantage of hair salon closures by also offering illegal home visit haircuts. "It's a handy two in one service," says Tony Werkhoven. "I'm in...
PM Reveals Australia’s Confronting New Covid Advert Was Directed By Stephen King
FEAR FACTOR: Legendary horror writer Stephen King was the brains behind the federal government's confronting new TV advertisement warning about the dangers of Covid-19. The 30 second clip shows a terrified young woman struggling to breath on a ventilator. "Obviously...
Western Sydney Warning: Wearing Adidas Tracksuits Does Not Count As Doing Essential Exercise
The NSW Premier has issued a stern warning to residents of Western Sydney, as the city's Covid outbreak grows. "Leaving home in an Adidas tracksuit without any plans to do any actual exercise is a breach of public health orders,"...
