Analysis
Police Commissioner Announces Plan To Create Sex Consent Form Within Service NSW App
The NSW Police Commissioner says the Service NSW app is the perfect place to house a sex consent form. "The app has already been instrumental in Covid-19 contact tracing," says Mick Fuller. "We can also now use it to help...
Point Piper Man Blames His Shocking Golf Score On Heavily Fluctuating Crypto Prices
Wildly fluctuating cryptocurrency prices are being blamed for a blowout at Moore Park golf course today. With a handicap of +10, Bryce Jones finished his round 23 strokes over par today. "He spent most of his round looking at his...
#BREAKING: United Kingdom Prime Minister Announces Plan to Become A Republic
The U.K. Prime Minister has announced a plan to cut ties with the Monarchy and become a republic. "The time has come to leave our colonial past behind," Boris Johnson announced at a press conference a short time ago. "Think...
Victorian Premier Wears North Face Hospital Gown To Press Conference
The Victorian Premier has worn a North Face branded hospital gown to his first press conference since being admitted to hospital after a fall on Tuesday. "I'm pleased to announce my brand partnership with North face will continue for the...
Prince Philip Admits He Was Actually Worried Baby Archie Might Turn Out To Be A ‘Ginger’
The Duke of Edinburgh has moved to clarify comments by Meghan Markle that some members of the Royal family were concerned about the colour of baby Archie's skin. "Yes, there were concerns he'd turn out to be a ginger," the...
Growing Calls For An Inquiry Into Why Harry Can Leave The Royals, But Australia Can’t
It's the question almost every Australian is asking this morning, 'Why is Australia still part of the British Monarchy?' "I have enough drama in my own life, without worrying about whatever bullshit Meghan Markle is crapping on about today," says...
Seven Network Announce Meghan Markle As New Host Of Sunrise
The Duchess of Sussex is taking the next brave step in her show business career. Meghan Markle has been announced as the new host of the Sunrise breakfast TV show, taking over from Samantha Armytage who announced her resignation today....
Man Who’s Lived In Sydney His Entire Life Goes To SCG For Very First Time
A man who has lived about 400m from the SCG for the last 12 years has entered the hallowed stadium for the very first time last night. "I grew up in Sydney, but I'm not into sports so I've never...
Darlinghurst Man Claims He’s Recovered From Mardi Gras After Eating Bowl Of Salad
A weary, brain dead Sydney man says he's now fully recovered from a night of debauchery after deciding to eat salad for lunch today. "It's really important to load your body with super foods," says Bryce Fielding. "Also state of...
Ikea Now Offering In-Store Relationship Counselling
The pressures of furniture shopping on couples has led one innovative retailer to offer in store relationship counselling. “Furniture shopping can be a real source of disagreement,” says Ikea’s Mark Hann. “We want to help our customers have a smooth...
