Analysis
Man Who’s Lived In Sydney His Entire Life Goes To SCG For Very First Time
A man who has lived about 400m from the SCG for the last 12 years has entered the hallowed stadium for the very first time last night. "I grew up in Sydney, but I'm not into sports so I've never...
Darlinghurst Man Claims He’s Recovered From Mardi Gras After Eating Bowl Of Salad
A weary, brain dead Sydney man says he's now fully recovered from a night of debauchery after deciding to eat salad for lunch today. "It's really important to load your body with super foods," says Bryce Fielding. "Also state of...
Ikea Now Offering In-Store Relationship Counselling
The pressures of furniture shopping on couples has led one innovative retailer to offer in store relationship counselling. “Furniture shopping can be a real source of disagreement,” says Ikea’s Mark Hann. “We want to help our customers have a smooth...
#BREAKING: Nobody Under 65 y.o Gives A Fuck About The Royal Family, Or Harry & Meghan
A new 18 month study has revealed some shocking home truths about the Royal Family. The report - conducted by market research firm Roy Morgan - found nobody around the world under the age of 65 y.o cares about the...
‘Trial By Media Must Be Avoided,’ Says PM Who Also Refuses Trial By Inquiry
The Prime Minister says trial by media is a dangerous and damaging scenario which must be avoided at all costs. But he remains equally resistant about calls for an independent inquiry into the rape allegations facing Attorney-General Christian Porter. "Case...
NSW Man Still Wearing Mask After Zero Infections In 40 Days, Clearly Just Avoiding Social Activity
A Sydney man has admitted that his move to continue wearing a face mask has nothing to do with covid-19. "It's just a great way to avoid having to talk to people I bump into on the street," says Marc...
Former Raver Posts Tribute To Daft Punk, In Desperate Bid To Still Seem Relevant
A former rave enthusiast has taken to Facebook to vent about the breakup of French electronic duo Daft Punk. "It's such a blow to music lovers," former Sydney raver Pete Rawlings wrote in a status update. "When Daft Punk were...
Craig Kelly Quits Liberal Party To Take Up Hosting Role On Sky News
Liberal MP Craig Kelly has stunned colleagues by telling the Coalition party room he will quit the government’s ranks and immediately move to a hosting job on Sky News. "I have to stay true to what I believe in," Kelly...
Local Satire Publication DBT Starts MySpace Page After Being Banned From Facebook
A local satire news publication is adjusting to a brave new world without Facebook. "News of Facebook today banning all news and satire publications is a real shock to the system," says DBT's publisher Todd Matthews. "But we are pivoting...
DBT Writer Now Questioning Entire Existence After Facebook Banned All News & Satire
A writer on the satirical website Double Bay Today (DBT) is in a state of inner turmoil today. Paddy Alan is questioning his entire existence after the publication's Facebook page was banned along with other major Australian news and satire...
