Analysis

People Who Write ‘U’ Instead Of ‘You’ Save 8 Minutes A Year: Report

SHORT CUT: It may seem like a minimal change, but writing 'u' instead of 'you' could save you big-time. Well, 8 minutes every year to be exact. That's the finding of a new report by the Time Management Association. It...
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“Young People Get So Easily Offended These Days,” Says Boomer Offended By Grace Tame

OFF POINT: A Sydney boomer has taken exception with Grace Tame's National Press Club address yesterday. "Honestly I'm getting so sick of this girl," Paul Partridge shouted at his TV. "She's not Australian of The Year anymore. It's time she...
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Reporter Peter Van Onselen Now Offering Masterclass On ‘Attention Seeking For Journalists’

HEADLINE MAGNET: High profile Australian political reporter Peter van Onselen has signed up with US online education platform MasterClass. The TEN Network political editor and columnist at The Australian features in a new 15-minute MasterClass video tutorial offering tips for...
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Local Woman Sacks Her Personal Trainer After Discovering He Doesn’t Have A Sleeve Tattoo

GETTING PERSONAL: A Sydney woman is on the hunt for a new personal trainer today after her first ever PT session yesterday left her feeling dissatisfied. "He seemed like a decent trainer and everything," says Nancy Wright. "I got a...
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Local Woman Finally Agrees To Have Sex With Husband After He Brought Home A 5 Pack Of RATs

DROUGHT BREAKER: A Melbourne man is counting his lucky stars tonight. Damien Burke this afternoon somehow managed to find a 5-pack of rapid antigen tests, leading his wife of seven years to promise him sex tonight. "It's been a while,"...
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Relief, As Staff Shortages Allow Diners To Talk Without Being Interrupted By Waiters Every 10 seconds

EAT IN PEACE: As staff shortages cripple large parts of the Australian economy, it's providing a rare reprieve for one industry. A new report shows restaurant patronage has increased 14% compared to pre-covid times, as diners enjoy eating and chatting...
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“We Can’t Hand Out Rapid Tests For Free,” Says PM Who Handed Out $89 Billion In JobKeeper

FULL STORY: The Prime Minister is continuing to resist pressure to provide rapid antigen tests for free, even as state testing regimes buckle. "I understand some people will get sick and possibly even die, and that's a shame, but at...
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‘Influencer’ Signs Off Insta With: ‘Fu*k u 2021,’ Despite Earning More In Job Keeper Than In Entire Career

SIDE HUSTLE: A local 'influencer' has became the latest person to post an end of year tribute selfie. With 2,300 instagram followers, Joe Hewitson is also a 'content creator' operating as a sole trader. "Fu*k u 2021," he captioned his...
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“I’m Not Going Out Tonight Due To Covid,” Says Man Who Wasn’t Invited Anywhere

HOME ALONE: For a second consecutive year, Neil Blunden is spending New Year's Eve at home, alone. "Case numbers are exploding," says the 38 year old. "I don't want to risk it. That's why I'm staying in again this year."...
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61% Of Sydney Residents Plan On Taking A Sleeping Pill Before 10.30pm Tonight: Report

KNOCKOUT BLOW: If you're thinking of not doing anything tonight for New Year's Eve, you're not alone. A new report by consumer group Choice shows fear about exploding covid case numbers is leading unprecedented numbers of Sydney residents to take...
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