Analysis
“That Sam Konstas kid is a one hit wonder,” claims local boomer whose highest score was 7 runs for Easts 4th grade in 1977
OLD HAND: An outspoken local boomer has issued a blunt assessment of rising cricket star Sam Konstas at a family BBQ in Rose Bay tonight. Glen Westwood says the 19 year old test opener is a one hit wonder. “I’ve...
Fitness First membership card finally getting a decent workout on New Year’s Day
STAYING POWER: A Fitness First membership card is being put to good use today, after months of lying dormant. "My new year's resolution is to go to the gym more," says Rose Bay man Dane Ward. "But for now my membership...
“NYE is the worst, I’m just going to stay home & chill,” says man who hasn’t been invited anywhere yet
OPEN TO OPPORTUNITIES: As Sydney gears up for a night of countdown chaos, a local man is proudly proclaiming his plans to stay home and watch the fireworks on the ABC. "I'm so over the whole NYE thing," Felix Johns...
Local man hires private investigator to find out what his friends are doing on New Year’s Eve
FOMO: With only one day to go before New Year's Eve, a Sydney man is taking drastic and desperate steps to uncover how his friends arespending the big night. "I haven't been invited anywhere yet," Dan Borger admitted to DBT....
Eastern suburbs woman forced to quit full-time job, so she can stay home and focus on returning all the items she’s purchased online
RETURN TO SENDER: A local woman has resigned from her lucrative marketing position to dedicate herself entirely to managing the returns of her extensive online shopping habit. "Between re-boxing items, and waiting in line at the post office, I simply...
Sydney offices record spike in weather related banter, as it was both ‘sweltering yesterday’ and ‘so stormy,’ today
QUALITY BANTER: Fast changing weather conditions have triggered a wave of generic weather related conversations across Sydney workplaces. Office banter surged this afternoon amid warnings of a thunderstorm and heavy rain. But yesterday, a heatwave sparked warnings of blackouts. "Wow,...
Man ‘so humbled’ to win award at work, he wrote a 200 word LinkedIn post about it
HUMBLE BRAG: A Sydney insurance salesman has posted a photo on LinkedIn of himself winning an award at work, alongside 200 words about how good he is. Paul Barouche beat six other colleagues in his department for the 'Best Client...
Rent money is dead money!” explains owner of $10 million Bondi Beach apartment, purchased by his daddy
OWNER OCCUPIER: As the rental crisis continues, a local man has been attempting to enlighten his friends about Sydney's property market. "Guys if you're still renting, you're literally throwing money down the toilet," Marcus Tanner-Montague said. "Renting prices will always...
Growing calls to widen the government’s proposed social media ban for children to include boomers also
DIGITAL DIVIDE: Lawmakers are today facing mounting pressure to broaden the scope of the proposed social media ban aimed at children. A coalition of Gen Z and millennial social media users want boomers banned as well. "Older generations on social...
“If I don’t like it, I’ll just return it,” says online shopping addict who has never returned anything in her entire life
DELULU: A Sydney woman is continuing to reassure herself that her online shopping sprees are risk free. "If I don't like it, I'll just return it," Marta Miller proclaimed, clicking 'Add to Cart' on yet another summer dress in the...
