Analysis

Doctors Concerned Hospitals Will Run Out Of Intensive Care Beds As Police Brutality Spreads

There's increasing concern among doctors that a sharp rise in police brutality could overwhelm Australia's medical system. "Demand for Australia's existing 2,200 intensive care unit beds could be exceeded within a few weeks," warns Dr Harry Moncur at St Vincent's...
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China Announces 80% Tariff On All Australian Imports, Except Bats, Snakes & Frogs

China has widened its Australian trade boycott, today announcing an 80% tariff on all Australian imports. From next Tuesday, Beijing says the tariff will be applied to Australian iron ore, coal, beef, goats, sheep, dairy and wine. The tariff has...
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Man Doing ‘Push-Up Challenge’ To Show Off Triceps Instead Of Supporting Mental Health

A Melbourne man has admitted to taking part in a fundraising event purely to show off his arm muscles. The Push-Up Challenge asks Australians to push ups to raise money for mental health. "I didn't even know it was a...
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“The Wuhan Wet Market Is Much Safer Than Australian Beef,” Says China’s President

China's hopes of being treated like a genuine first world country have taken another turn for the worse. The communist nation yesterday suddenly announced the suspension of imports from four Australian red meat abattoirs, over "labelling and health certificate requirements."...
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2GB Management Thank Alan Jones For “Retiring” So They Didn’t Have To Sack Him

Management at radio station 2GB say they're grateful that Alan Jones has agreed to end his controversial radio broadcasting career. "We agreed to let him save face by announcing his retirement," says 2GB executive Henry Hammer. "But to be honest,...
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Nathan Cleary Back On TikTok After Easing Of Social Distancing Rules

Panthers star Nathan Cleary has invited two friends to his Penrith home to make more TikTok videos. Two videos of the group dancing were posted at 3.30pm and 3.41pm yesterday, after new social distancing rules kicked in last week, allowing...
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Premier Announces Carriageworks To Be Transformed Into A Casino

Sydney's premier contemporary performance space 'Carriageworks' is set for exciting overhaul, under a state government plan announced this morning. The multi-arts venue in the historic Eveleigh rail yards will be transformed into a multi-billion dollar Casino. "This is a step...
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China Employs Marie Kondo To Help Clean Up Controversial Wuhan Laboratory

She's built a reputation for helping desperate home owners organise their bedrooms. But now Marie Kondo has been employed by Beijing to help clean up the Wuhan laboratory, where some claim coronavirus originated. "I've been asked by Beijing to help...
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Andrew Forrest Eats Bat Soup On Tour Of Controversial Wuhan Wet Market

Australian mining billionaire Andrew Forrest has toured the Wuhan wet market which is thought to be ground zero of the coronavirus. "A few hours ago I ate some bat soup here. It was a taste sensation and to be honest,...
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All ‘Massage Parlours’ Within 5km Radius Of Parliament House To Re-open

Nationals MP Barnaby Joyce is spearheading a policy initiative to re-open all 'massage parlours' within close proximity to parliament house. "Enough is enough," says the former deputy PM. "The Covid-19 crisis has been a very stressful time for policy makers....
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