Analysis
Who Magazine To Change Its Name After ‘Being Embarrassed’ By World Health Organisation (WHO)
Celebrity news and gossip magazine 'Who' will change its name after being embarrassed by the World Health Organisation's response to COVID-19. "The World Health Organisation is an absolute joke," says Who magazine publisher Guy Griffin. "We don't want to risk...
ISIS Announce Immediate Suspension Of All Terrorist Activities, Due To Coronavirus
The Islamic State (ISIS) has announced the suspension of all terror activities in response to COVID-19. "Social distancing has made it too difficult to keep going, so we've decided to close until further notice," says an ISIS spokesperson. "Most of...
MAFS ‘Stars’ Demand Second Season After COVID-19 Stole Their 15 Minutes Of Fame
It's the much-hyped relationship roller coaster ride of love and betrayal, but the stars of the latest season of MAFS want to do it all over again. They're demanding the show be re-shot, "because coronavirus stole our limelight." "COVID-19 totally...
Woman Who Wears Face Mask To Coles, Spotted Hooking Up With Random Tinder Date
Sydney's Leanne West is among the fast growing numbers of people choosing to wear surgical masks when grocery shopping. However it's been revealed the 27 year old has a more relaxed outlook on COVID-19 while out on dates. "She hooked...
Long-term Unemployed Man Happy To Delay Job-Search Until After Corona Crisis Eases
An unemployed 34 year old man who still lives with his parents says the coronavirus is 'a blessing in disguise.' "I've just secured myself an extra six months of not taking life seriously," says Gavin Feebrey. "Plus I'm really enjoying...
China Announces New Limits On Eating Bats: One Bat, Per Person, Per Week
Chinese citizens will be limited to eating just one bat per week under tough new restrictions announced by Beijing. "It won't be easy for some residents, but we are committed to limiting the spread of infectious diseases like COVID-19," says...
Spike In Dating App Use As Singles Rush To Find One Partner To Ride Out COVID-19 With
Popular dating Apps Tinder and Bumble are reporting a spike in users as the coronavirus lockdown continues. "Users are desperately trying to find someone to bunker down with during COVID-19," says Tinder marketing manager Samir Soulos. Rival app Bumble is...
Rose Bay Man Finally Feels Impact Of COVID-19 Crisis After Forced Closure Of All Golf Courses
An unemployed Rose Bay trust fund recipient says hasn't felt any impact of the Coronavirus crisis, until now. "This afternoon the government announced the forced closure of all golf courses," says Toby Creswell. "This is really getting messed up." The...
Local Woman Almost Unrecognisable As Beautician Shutdown Enters Second Week
The impact of the coronavirus pandemic is plain to see on the face of Sydney's Janet Wreath. It's understood the 36 year old remains in perfectly good health, but the federal government's forced closure of all beauty salons is taking...
“COVID-19 Is A Virus Created By Nanny State Authoritarians,” Says Frustrated Bondi Party Goer
Bondi conspiracy theorist Zane Goulding says the coronavirus pandemic is nothing but government propaganda. "They want us to be scared," he claims. "They're trying to gain control of our minds and they're effectively placing us in home detention without trial."...
