Analysis

From his private island in the Caribbean, Richard Branson is attempting to apply for the JobSeeker payment on the Centrelink website. "This is so complex," he told DBT. "I've given Centrelink a call but I've been on hold for hours...
Administrators for the embattled airline Virgin Australia have tonight announced a plan to move into the food delivery business. "We're delivering airline food trays to households around Australia," says Dean Pemberton, an administrator from Deloitte. "We have several meal packages...
Celebrity news and gossip magazine 'Who' will change its name after being embarrassed by the World Health Organisation's response to COVID-19. "The World Health Organisation is an absolute joke," says Who magazine publisher Guy Griffin. "We don't want to risk...
The Islamic State (ISIS) has announced the suspension of all terror activities in response to COVID-19. "Social distancing has made it too difficult to keep going, so we've decided to close until further notice," says an ISIS spokesperson. "Most of...
A new report shows Sydney runners are consistently breaching social distancing rules by choosing to jog in busy, high-density areas, instead of in spacious parkland. "They're sweating, panting and moving at speed," says report author Percy Fiddington. "And they're not...
It's the much-hyped relationship roller coaster ride of love and betrayal, but the stars of the latest season of MAFS want to do it all over again. They're demanding the show be re-shot, "because coronavirus stole our limelight." "COVID-19 totally distracted...
Sydney's Leanne West is among the fast growing numbers of people choosing to wear surgical masks when grocery shopping. However it's been revealed the 27 year old has a more relaxed outlook on COVID-19 while out on dates. "She hooked up...
An unemployed 34 year old man who still lives with his parents says the coronavirus is 'a blessing in disguise.' "I've just secured myself an extra six months of not taking life seriously," says Gavin Feebrey. "Plus I'm really enjoying...
Chinese citizens will be limited to eating just one bat per week under tough new restrictions announced by Beijing. "It won't be easy for some residents, but we are committed to limiting the spread of infectious diseases like COVID-19," says...
Popular dating Apps Tinder and Bumble are reporting a spike in users as the coronavirus lockdown continues. "Users are desperately trying to find someone to bunker down with during COVID-19," says Tinder marketing manager Samir Soulos. Rival app Bumble is also...

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