Analysis
Local Woman Sacks Her Personal Trainer After Discovering He Doesn’t Have A Sleeve Tattoo
GETTING PERSONAL: A Sydney woman is on the hunt for a new personal trainer today after her first ever PT session yesterday left her feeling dissatisfied. "He seemed like a decent trainer and everything," says Nancy Wright. "I got a...
Local Woman Finally Agrees To Have Sex With Husband After He Brought Home A 5 Pack Of RATs
DROUGHT BREAKER: A Melbourne man is counting his lucky stars tonight. Damien Burke this afternoon somehow managed to find a 5-pack of rapid antigen tests, leading his wife of seven years to promise him sex tonight. "It's been a while,"...
Relief, As Staff Shortages Allow Diners To Talk Without Being Interrupted By Waiters Every 10 seconds
EAT IN PEACE: As staff shortages cripple large parts of the Australian economy, it's providing a rare reprieve for one industry. A new report shows restaurant patronage has increased 14% compared to pre-covid times, as diners enjoy eating and chatting...
“We Can’t Hand Out Rapid Tests For Free,” Says PM Who Handed Out $89 Billion In JobKeeper
FULL STORY: The Prime Minister is continuing to resist pressure to provide rapid antigen tests for free, even as state testing regimes buckle. "I understand some people will get sick and possibly even die, and that's a shame, but at...
‘Influencer’ Signs Off Insta With: ‘Fu*k u 2021,’ Despite Earning More In Job Keeper Than In Entire Career
SIDE HUSTLE: A local 'influencer' has became the latest person to post an end of year tribute selfie. With 2,300 instagram followers, Joe Hewitson is also a 'content creator' operating as a sole trader. "Fu*k u 2021," he captioned his...
“I’m Not Going Out Tonight Due To Covid,” Says Man Who Wasn’t Invited Anywhere
HOME ALONE: For a second consecutive year, Neil Blunden is spending New Year's Eve at home, alone. "Case numbers are exploding," says the 38 year old. "I don't want to risk it. That's why I'm staying in again this year."...
61% Of Sydney Residents Plan On Taking A Sleeping Pill Before 10.30pm Tonight: Report
KNOCKOUT BLOW: If you're thinking of not doing anything tonight for New Year's Eve, you're not alone. A new report by consumer group Choice shows fear about exploding covid case numbers is leading unprecedented numbers of Sydney residents to take...
NYE COVID CURFEW: QLD Premier Everyone Needs To Be Home By 10.30pm
FUN POLICE: The New Year's Eve plans of millions of Brisbane residents have been thrown into disarray. The QLD state government has just announced a landmark New Year’s Eve curfew covering the Brisbane metropolitan area. “Anyone found roaming the streets...
Extended family acting like they all love each other for one day of the year
NUMBERS GAME: A Sydney family is acting like a loving, cohesive unit, only because of certain numbers on a calendar, it's been confirmed. The Riley family are reportedly burdened by several complex issues, with some family members having a deep...
Man Who Posted Covid Data Screenshot To His Insta Stories Awarded Pulitzer Prize For Journalism
DATA HACK: Sydney's Reece Withers has been awarded journalism's most prestigious prize for posting the daily covid numbers to his Instagram stories. "NSW Health would like to thank Mr Withers for his commitment to sharing important public health information," said...
