Couple who’ve never been able to keep a house plant alive, now considering having a baby

PLANT PARENTHOOD: A local couple are considering embarking on the next stage of their parenting career.

Ben and his wife Pip Norman have had have a long and tragic history of being unable to keep even the hardiest houseplants alive.

From succulents to spider plants, they’ve unintentionally murdered every botanical being that has had the misfortune of crossing their threshold.

Now, against all odds, the couple is mulling over the idea of having a baby.

“We’ve been practicing on plants for years,” said Ben, staring at the crispy remains of what was once a lush Boston fern.

“But maybe we just need to try something more… responsive.”

“I agree,” says Pip. “I mean, how hard can it be? It’s not like they need sunlight, soil, or proper watering schedules.”

Their family and friends are cautiously supportive of the couple’s decision.

“We’re really excited for them,” said close friend Sonia “But maybe they should start with something easier, like a pet rock or a Tamagotchi.”