Local News

Germaphobe Won’t Let Friend Sip Her Drink, But Happily Sucks MDMA Off Stranger’s Finger

"It's all about balance," she says. Moments after denying a friend's request for a sip of her drink last night, Sydney's Rachel Brullen was seen sucking MDMA off a random man's finger. The self-described party queen is being accused by...
Read More about Germaphobe Won’t Let Friend Sip Her Drink, But Happily Sucks MDMA Off Stranger’s Finger

Company Which Built Sydney’s Light Rail Awarded Contract To Re-Build Sydney Football Stadium

The state government has announced a new contract with Spanish builder Acciona to re-build the Sydney Football Stadium. "Yes, we've had our problems with Acciona when they built Sydney's light rail," concedes Premier Gladys Berejiklian. "But over that time we've...
Read More about Company Which Built Sydney’s Light Rail Awarded Contract To Re-Build Sydney Football Stadium

Lord Mayor Calls For Sydney’s Light Rail To Be Scrapped And Replaced With A Bike Lane

After its offical opening last week, the Lord Mayor has already conceded that Sydney's light rail project has been a "complete and utter failure." "The state government needs to be honest with itself and the people of Sydney," says Clover...
Read More about Lord Mayor Calls For Sydney’s Light Rail To Be Scrapped And Replaced With A Bike Lane

Vegan Takes Neighbours To Court Over ‘Passive Smoke’ From Their BBQ

"Breathing in BBQ smoke from next door effectively amounts to me being forced to consume meat," she argues.   A Sydney woman is attempting to set a legal precedent, by claiming that passively inhaling her neighbour's BBQ smoke prevents her...
Read More about Vegan Takes Neighbours To Court Over ‘Passive Smoke’ From Their BBQ

Coward Punchers Celebrate The Removal Of Sydney’s Lockout Laws

A group of unfairly persecuted hyper-aggressive men are celebrating tonight, after the state government announced the removal of Sydney's lockout laws. "It's been a long time coming," says violent offender Jayden Amari. "We've been lobbying hard for our right to...
Read More about Coward Punchers Celebrate The Removal Of Sydney’s Lockout Laws

South Africans Dominating Double Bay Street Festival After Springbok Victory

The Double Bay Street Festival is being heavily dominated by South African born locals, after the Springbok's resounding World Cup Victory last night. "There's many people from St Ives here today," says Springbok fan Lyle Wasner. "It's a great day...
Read More about South Africans Dominating Double Bay Street Festival After Springbok Victory

Bride-To-Be Cancels Wedding After Facebook Hides Likes

Facebook's move to privatise Like counts has had a devastating impact on at least one Sydney relationship. The couple had plans to marry in February next year, but today the bride-to-be canceled the wedding. "All my friend's wedding photos got...
Read More about Bride-To-Be Cancels Wedding After Facebook Hides Likes

PM Took Advice From Trump On Building A Wall Around The Shire

The Prime Minister has announced plans to build a US-Mexico style wall around the Sutherland Shire in Sydney's south. "We don't want another repeat of the Cronulla riots," he says. "Ethnic people coming into the Shire are posing a huge threat...
Read More about PM Took Advice From Trump On Building A Wall Around The Shire

PM Announces Royal Commission Into How Roxy Jacenko Got Her Own TV Show

The Prime Minister says he's embarrassed about the Australian media's "unwarranted obsession" with PR Queen Roxy Jacenko. "I don't like it, I don't understand it," says Scott Morrison. "We don't want to be like the United States and give people...
Read More about PM Announces Royal Commission Into How Roxy Jacenko Got Her Own TV Show

Chopsticks To Replace Cutlery At NSW Labor Canteen

The NSW branch of the Labor Party has announced that chopsticks will replace cutlery in the canteen of its Sussex Street headquarters. "This is a step in the right direction," says NSW ALP Leader Jodi McKay. "Staff will still be...
Read More about Chopsticks To Replace Cutlery At NSW Labor Canteen
FOLLOW US