Local News
Local Drug Dealer Quits Selling Amphetamines And Moves Into Rapid Antigen Test Kits
QUICK FIX: A Sydney drug dealer is moving into the lucrative new black market for rapid antigen covid test kits. In an inner city warehouse, Marcus Shore says he currently has more than 12 thousand of the DIY at-home kits,...
SAVING XMAS: Sydney Grandmother Announces Snap 3-Day Lockdown For All Extended Family
DICTATOR NAN: A local grandmother is taking drastic action to ensure a covid-free Christmas, as NSW case numbers continue to rise. 74 year old Helen Hudson is reportedly desperate for Christmas lunch to proceed as planned, so she's announced a...
Sydney Lord Mayor Starts Brainstorming Potential Reasons To Cancel NYE Fireworks
HEADLINE HUNTER: The Lord Mayor of Sydney and her media team have begun discussing how they can benefit from the annual 'on again, off again' coverage about NYE fireworks. "Over the next few days we'll begin sending out media releases...
CRYPTO CRASH: Bitcoin Heavyweight Forced Back To Old Job Selling Real Estate & MDMA
ALL TIME LOW: Continuing heavy falls in cryptocurrency prices has led one Sydney man to return to his previous employment as a real estate agent and MDMA dealer. "It's a great time to buy," Nathan Bloom told DBT. "The property...
Woman’s “Thanks For All Your B’day Love” FB Post, Deemed Transparent Bid For Even More Attention
SPECIAL DAY: A local woman on Facebook is milking her birthday for as much attention as possible. On her big day yesterday, Kate Sanders received hundreds of 'happy birthday' wishes on her wall. She also got 81 likes on a...
Abbie Chatfield Admits To Intentionally Swimming In Dangerous Rips, Just To Get On ‘Bondi Rescue’
CAREER RESCUE: Controversial reality TV star Abbie Chatfield has come clean on her high-risk strategy to ensure she continues to appear on Australian television. "I've been swimming into heavy surf and dangerous rips at North Bondi when the Bondi Rescue...
Recently Separated Man Devastated He Can’t Keep Things In His Wife’s Handbag Anymore
BURDEN TO CARRY: For the last three years Andrew Prasad has enjoyed keeping his keys, asthma spray and other assorted items in his wife's handbag. But after separating from her last week, the 31 year old has been left devastated....
Planet Saved After Local Influencer Buys ‘Low Impact Fibre’ Dress From JAG
SUSTAINABLE FASHION: A Sydney influencer has reversed decades of global environmental decline by purchasing a 'low impact fibre' skirt from Australian fashion brand, JAG. "It's been super rewarding to give something back to the planet," says Rachel Carter. Taking advantage...
SKIN IN THE GAME: Man Now Only Socialising With People Who Have Crypto Portfolios Above $100k
CRYPTO CREW: A Sydney cryptocurrency enthusiast has announced a new plan to only spend time with people who are also heavily invested in digital currencies. "Time is money," says James Tyler. "And the crypto market is open 24/7 so I...
ALL TALK: ‘Let’s Do A Boys Trip To Ibiza!’ Texts Mate Who Can’t Even Show Up To Beers In Bondi
SURE MATE: A Sydney man is being accused of being 'all talk and no action' after suggesting an elaborate and costly 'boys trip' to Europe. Mike Maxwell (pictured on the left) is well known for constantly letting his friends down...
