Local News

Local 58 Year Old Man Now Finally Confident Using The Supermarket Self-Checkout

CHECKED OUT: The transition to supermarket self-checkout has happened a little slower for some. Wherever possible, 58 year old Harvey Walker still uses checkout operators to scan his groceries for him. "Or if the supermarket only has self-checkout, I have...
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CAREER PIVOT: Local Heroin Dealer Now Also Selling Petrol

"I've got the good shit too, the premium unleaded," he says. DRUG FUELLED: A Sydney heroin dealer is moving into the lucrative new black market for petrol, as the war in Europe continues to send prices higher. In an inner...
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Local Company Attempts To Lure Staff Back Into The Office With A Plate Of Milk Arrowroot Biscuits

WORK PERK: A Sydney firm is pulling out all stops in a desperate bid to encourage staff back into the office. Amid public transport chaos, and soaring petrol prices, the finance company is offering free Arnott's Milk Arrowroot biscuits to...
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Man Who Bought 2 Bags Of Rack Last Night Says Rising Fuel Prices Are Forcing Him Onto Public Transport

PARTY FUEL: A man who spent $600 on recreational drugs last night says rising fuel prices are having a dramatic effect on his lifestyle. Tate Riley says with petrol costing $2.20 at his local service station, he's been forced to...
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Transport NSW Announce New Ferry Service From Dee Why To Chatswood, Via Pittwater Road

FLOOD RELIEF: Sydney Ferries has today announced a new service from Dee Why, traveling 13 kilometres inland to Chatswood. Transport NSW says there will be six ferries per day starting at Pittwater Road. "With many road and rail services closed...
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#BREAKING: PM Makes Shock Appearance At Mardi Gras, In Desperate Bid To Win The Gay Vote

TROUGH MAN: Desperate times call for desperate measures. The Prime Minister has tonight surprised Australia's queer community with a PR stunt, even while he's supposed to be at home in isolation. He's rocked up to the SCG for the Mardi...
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Sydney Man Calls The SES After Forgetting To Take His Umbrella On A Walk In Hyde Park

DISASTER RELIEF: A Darlinghurst man is calling for urgent help from the State Emergency Service (SES) as rain continues to batter the state. Tom Hooper went for a walk through Hyde Park in Sydney's CBD this afternoon, but was caught...
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“I Can’t Believe A Litre Of Petrol Now Costs $2!” Says Man Who Often Pays $200 For A Litre Of Vodka

PAIN AT THE BOWSER: A Point Piper trust fund recipient is today taking aim at fuel wholesalers and retailers, accusing them of price gouging as tensions rise in Europe. "How is a single litre of petrol worth $2!? asks Michael...
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NEW PHOTOS: Labor Leader Visits The Golden Sheaf Hotel After Buying A White Linen Shirt

MEET & GREET: The opposition leader is tonight at the Golden Sheaf Hotel in Sydney's east, as he attempts to shore up votes ahead of the federal election. "Normally I drink at more dingy pubs in the inner west, but...
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Marrickville Real Estate Agent Adds ‘Water Views’ To Sign After Today’s Heavy Localised Flooding

BIT RICH: A local real estate agent is moving quickly to take advantage of record rainfall and flash flooding across Sydney's inner west today. Paul Lambert has updated the For Sale sign at 33 Pembroke Rd, Marrickville to include the...
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