Local News
New Report Lists Sydney Airport As Australia’s Most Popular Easter Getaway
SHIT SHOW: Sydney airport has been named as Australia's most popular Easter holiday destination, as chronic staff shortages and a flood of travellers cause heavy delays. "Our report shows many travellers are spending more time at Sydney Airport than their...
‘Business Coach’ Filming Selfie Video While Driving, Not Even Going Anywhere
DRIVING FORCE: A self-described 'business coach' is using a camera mounted to his dashboard to film selfie videos while driving, in a desperate bid to seem busy. "I just thought I'd jump on here quickly," Ron Millar says at the...
VOTE BUYING: PM Passes New Laws Allowing 4WD’s To Park In Eastern Suburbs Loading Zones
ELECTION SWEETENER: Drivers of four-wheel drives and other off road vehicles in Sydney's east will be allowed to park in loading zones, under new laws passed last week. "The federal government is committed to making life easier for owners of...
Local Cannabis Users Call For A Ban On Music With Siren Sounds In It
SMOKE ALARM: A coalition of Sydney marijuana users have launched a campaign to outlaw siren-like noises in music. The motorists say the music can trigger heavy paranoia, which in turn leads to increased danger at the wheel. "Every time I...
NSW Government Now Allowing Dine & Discover Vouchers To Be Used On Petrol
DINE, DISCOVER & DRIVE: From one crisis to the next. Dine & Discover vouchers were initially introduced to encourage spending within Australia's covid ravaged hospitality industry. Now they're being used by NSW drivers to buy petrol, as Russia's war in...
Local 58 Year Old Man Now Finally Confident Using The Supermarket Self-Checkout
CHECKED OUT: The transition to supermarket self-checkout has happened a little slower for some. Wherever possible, 58 year old Harvey Walker still uses checkout operators to scan his groceries for him. "Or if the supermarket only has self-checkout, I have...
CAREER PIVOT: Local Heroin Dealer Now Also Selling Petrol
"I've got the good shit too, the premium unleaded," he says. DRUG FUELLED: A Sydney heroin dealer is moving into the lucrative new black market for petrol, as the war in Europe continues to send prices higher. In an inner...
Local Company Attempts To Lure Staff Back Into The Office With A Plate Of Milk Arrowroot Biscuits
WORK PERK: A Sydney firm is pulling out all stops in a desperate bid to encourage staff back into the office. Amid public transport chaos, and soaring petrol prices, the finance company is offering free Arnott's Milk Arrowroot biscuits to...
Man Who Bought 2 Bags Of Rack Last Night Says Rising Fuel Prices Are Forcing Him Onto Public Transport
PARTY FUEL: A man who spent $600 on recreational drugs last night says rising fuel prices are having a dramatic effect on his lifestyle. Tate Riley says with petrol costing $2.20 at his local service station, he's been forced to...
#BREAKING: PM Makes Shock Appearance At Mardi Gras, In Desperate Bid To Win The Gay Vote
TROUGH MAN: Desperate times call for desperate measures. The Prime Minister has tonight surprised Australia's queer community with a PR stunt, even while he's supposed to be at home in isolation. He's rocked up to the SCG for the Mardi...
