Local News

Nathan Cleary Back On TikTok After Easing Of Social Distancing Rules

Panthers star Nathan Cleary has invited two friends to his Penrith home to make more TikTok videos. Two videos of the group dancing were posted at 3.30pm and 3.41pm yesterday, after new social distancing rules kicked in last week, allowing...
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Premier Announces Carriageworks To Be Transformed Into A Casino

Sydney's premier contemporary performance space 'Carriageworks' is set for exciting overhaul, under a state government plan announced this morning. The multi-arts venue in the historic Eveleigh rail yards will be transformed into a multi-billion dollar Casino. "This is a step...
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Man Arrested At Bondi For Wearing Budgie Smugglers

Two police officers have staged a dramatic arrest of a man for wearing red budgie smugglers at Bondi. "It wasn't even that hot," says one of the arresting officers Simon Greenhill. "This kind of behaviour is completely unacceptable." Dimitri Moskovich...
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Newtown IGA Introduces Chickpea Buying Limit Of One Tin Per Customer

Newtown IGA has announced tough new restrictions aimed at preventing grocery hoarding. From tomorrow, customers will be limited to purchasing only one tin of chickpeas each. "We're implementing these new restrictions to help ease ongoing chickpea shortages," says supermarket owner...
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Bored Boomer In Isolation Excited About Phone Call From Telemarketer

The monotony of coronavirus isolation was relieved briefly for one Sydney boomer who received a call from a telemarketer this evening. "I'd actually never heard of the energy company he was representing," says Anita Marks. "But to be honest, I...
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#BREAKING: Permanent Closure Of Sydney’s Light Rail Network “Due To COVID-19”

Sydney's infamous light rail project has failed to clear its final hurdle; coronavirus. The Premier today announced its immediate and permanent closure. "It's a sad day for Transport NSW," says Gladys Berejiklian. "We're proud of the network we built. It...
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NSW Police Announce Mass Layoffs As Social Distancing Rules Prevent Strip Searching

NSW Police has announced that one quarter of the state's officers will be made redundant in response to coronavirus. The police chief blames the federal government's new social distancing rules. "These rules have completely disabled our strip search operations," says...
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Sydney Couple Hold Wedding In Park, Wearing Gym Clothes So They Can Have 10 Guests

A Sydney couple have found a loophole in the Prime Minister's extension of social restrictions, aimed at stopping the spread of COVID-19. Last night Scott Morrison announced a maximum of 5 guests at all weddings, but he's allowing gatherings of...
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Man Who Posted Covid-19 Graph To Facebook, Now Considering Career As Infectious Disease Expert

A Sydney finance worker has announced the next brave step in his career. "I'm considering becoming an infectious disease expert," says Daniel Denny. "In finance, we use technical analysis to forecast outcomes based on historical data. For Covid-19, it's no...
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Boyfriends And Husbands Across Sydney Celebrate The Cancellation Of Vivid

The cancellation of Sydney's annual festival of music and lights has been welcomed by men across Sydney. "Every year I have to do the whole 'Vivid date night' thing with my wife, and it's punishing," says one man. But this...
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