Local News

“No Jab For Me,” Says Kings Cross Man Who Injects Heroin Several Times A Day

A Sydney heroin addict is warning about the dangers of the various covid vaccinations. "I wouldn't trust any of those injections," says Marc Bishop. "You just don't know what's in them." And while he's refusing to get the Covid jab,...
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AstraZeneca Now Available In Powder Form To Encourage Vaccinations In Eastern Suburbs

NSW Health is making the AstraZeneca coronavirus vaccine available in powdered form to help ensure the vaccination roll out continues. "We're already seeing a large increase in vaccinations among residents in Sydney's east," says the state's Premier Gladys Berejiklian. "Residents...
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32 Year Old Makes Appointment With Therapist After Bottle Shop Worker Didn’t Ask Her For ID

The Easter long weekend has ended in heartbreak for one Rose Bay Woman. 32 year old Peta Holby was asked for ID as she purchased some alcohol at Dan Murphy's a short time ago. "I was devastated," she told DBT....
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Innovative Man Posts Screenshot Of Weather App To Instagram

Instagram followers of Simon Dooley won’t need to check their weather apps today. The 26 year old has taken the ingenious step of sharing a weather app screen shot to Instagram. “I just thought it would be a useful thing...
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Police Commissioner Calls For Mandatory Filming Of All Sexual Encounters To Ensure Consent

The NSW Police Commissioner says filming all sexual encounters may be the only truly viable way of avoiding legal complications around sexual consent. "Everyone has a mobile phone," says Mick Fuller. "Hold it yourself, or put it on a tripod...
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Police Commissioner Announces Plan To Create Sex Consent Form Within Service NSW App

The NSW Police Commissioner says the Service NSW app is the perfect place to house a sex consent form. "The app has already been instrumental in Covid-19 contact tracing," says Mick Fuller. "We can also now use it to help...
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Point Piper Man Blames His Shocking Golf Score On Heavily Fluctuating Crypto Prices

Wildly fluctuating cryptocurrency prices are being blamed for a blowout at Moore Park golf course today. With a handicap of +10, Bryce Jones finished his round 23 strokes over par today. "He spent most of his round looking at his...
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Man Using Blow Up Doll In Passenger Seat So He Can Use T2 Lane

A Sydney man claims to have found a legitimate traffic hack which is saving him "hours each week. Paul Fischer is using an inflatable sex doll in his passenger seat so that he can use the T2 transit lane, which...
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Man Who’s Lived In Sydney His Entire Life Goes To SCG For Very First Time

A man who has lived about 400m from the SCG for the last 12 years has entered the hallowed stadium for the very first time last night. "I grew up in Sydney, but I'm not into sports so I've never...
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Darlinghurst Man Claims He’s Recovered From Mardi Gras After Eating Bowl Of Salad

A weary, brain dead Sydney man says he's now fully recovered from a night of debauchery after deciding to eat salad for lunch today. "It's really important to load your body with super foods," says Bryce Fielding. "Also state of...
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