Local News
Aged Care Worker Enrols As Student At St Joseph’s College In Desperate Bid To Get Vaccinated
JABS FOR THE BOYS: A Sydney aged care worker has announced a bold plan to head back to high school. 27 year old Phil Pence has enrolled as a year 12 student at St Joseph's College, in a desperate attempt...
Galavanting Around Bondi All Day Drinking & Being A Muppet, Declared Covid Safe By Government
SPECIAL EXEMPTION: Drunkard random social activity on the streets of Bondi during lockdown has been deemed Covid safe by the NSW Government. "We need to be realistic," says Gladys Berejiklian. "Bondi is a thriving community of trendy extroverts who need...
Kings Cross Heroin Injecting Room Now Also Offering The AstraZeneca Jab
The AstraZeneca vaccine is being made available to even more Australians, under a new NSW Government public health initiative. The Premier today announced that from next Monday, Kings Cross heroin injecting room will be included in the NSW vaccine rollout....
Police Warning: ‘Wearing Activewear Does Not Count As Doing Exercise’
ACTIVE, WHERE? NSW Police has launched a new campaign aimed at cracking down on people leaving home in activewear without plans on doing any actual exercise. "We're currently overwhelmed dealing with people out pretending to be exercising to avoid fines...
Nude Sunbathers Appeal Fine, Arguing Running From Deer Counts As Exercise
GOOD CARDIO: Two nude sunbathers are appealing a $1000 fine, by claiming that running from deer counts as exercise. The two men breached lockdown orders yesterday by getting lost in the bush, needing to be rescued separately. They say they...
Worrying Sign: NSW Premier Fronts Daily Covid Briefing Wearing North Face Jacket
The NSW Premier has today worn a North Face jacket at her daily Covid-19 update press conference. Gladys Berejiklian denies the clothing choice was influenced by her Victorian counterpart Dan Andrews, who often wore a similar jacket when Melbourne was...
“Essential Oils, Not Essential,” Warns NSW Health Minister
Multi-level marketers around the state are reacting angrily to the NSW government's announcement today that essential oils do not qualify as essential goods. "Leaving home to buy essential oils is not permitted in any circumstances," says Brad Hazzard. "Just because...
NSW Health Lists Cosmetic Injections As ‘Essential Services’ For Residents Of Sydney’s East
The state government has announced that beauty clinics offering cosmetic injections will be allowed to remain open for business, but only in Sydney's eastern suburbs. "These clinics are heavily relied upon by residents of Sydney's east," says NSW minister for...
Man Chilling In Park Evades Police Fine By Suddenly Pretending To Do Sit Ups
A quick thinking Sydney man has saved himself a hefty fine today, by pretending to exercise while relaxing in a local park. On the first day of the Sydney's second lockdown, Jake Sample was lying on the grass at Rushcutters...
Covid Impact: Bondi Man Forced To Leave The Eastern Suburbs To Get Vaccinated At Homebush
A Sydney man has been left feeling disoriented, confused and overwhelmed after being forced to leave the eastern suburbs to get his first jab. "I think I've heard of Homebush before, but only because of the Olympics," says Dave Martin,...
