Local News
Northern Beaches Family Begins Attempting To Figure Out Christmas Lunch
As if planning Christmas lunch isn't political enough at the best of times. This year a raft of restrictions and a plan to split Sydney into three zones has made Christmas planning a hectic nightmare for many families. The Johnson...
#BREAKING: ‘Honey Badger’ Identified As Patient Zero For Northern Beaches Outbreak
Contact tracers have identified former Wallaby and reality TV star Nick 'The Honey Badger' Cummins as patient zero for the Northern Beaches Covid-19 outbreak. "Anyone who has come into contact with Nick is urged to isolate immediately," says the NSW...
Northern Beaches Man Panic Buying Weed In Preparation For Lockdown
An Avalon man is busy texting multiple marijuana dealers in and around Sydney's Northern Beaches today, in a desperate bid to secure a personal supply for lockdown. "I've messaged about 6 local dealers this morning," says Bryce Porter. "So far...
Trump Hires Private Investigator To Find Out What His Friends Are Doing On NYE
With only two weeks until the end of the year, Donald Trump's New Years Eve plans remain unclear. "I haven't been invited anywhere," the outgoing US President admitted to DBT. "I asked my friend Mitch McConnell what he's doing, but...
NSW Premier Declines Invite To Family Christmas Lunch To Avoid Questions About Her Love Life
The NSW Premier will be spending Christmas day alone, after declining an invite from her mother to attend the annual Berejiklian Christmas lunch. "The Armenians are pretty hectic when it comes to probing personal questions," says Gladys Berejiklian. "I just...
Anti-Discrimination Groups Call For The ‘Great White Shark’ To Be Renamed The ‘Great Shark’
One of the ocean's deadliest predators is now being targeted by anti-discrimination groups. They want the Great White Shark to be renamed the Great Shark. "We believe the time is right to remove the word 'white' from the shark's name,"...
#BREAKING: Woman Who Replied ‘Maybe’ To FB Event Invite, Actually Shows Up
More than 20 people have been left stunned this afternoon when one of their friends arrived at a BBQ. Isabelle Fisher had RSVP'd as a 'Maybe' on the event's Facebook page. "I'm so glad I could make it," she shouted...
Innovative Man Posts Screen Shot Of Weather App To Instagram
Instagram followers of Joe Terrone won’t need to check their weather apps today. The 26 year old has taken the ingenious step of sharing a weather app screen shot to Instagram. “I just thought it would be a useful thing...
#BREAKING: Pete Evans Spotted Working At Boost Juice In Byron Bay
It's a fall from grace like no other. Pete Evans was a celebrity chef and diet advocate inspiring millions of people around the world. Now he's been photographed putting in a shift at Boost Juice in Byron Bay. "It's just...
Belle Gibson To Replace Pete Evans On ‘I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here!’
Network TEN has announced convicted scammer Belle Gibson will be joining the cast of 'I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here!' "She's a perfect replacement for Pete Evans," says Network TEN spokesman Doug Piggott. "They're both advocates of all...
