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Schapelle Corby Arrested After Entering Australia With A Boogie Board Bag Full Of Lettuce

LETTUCE SMUGGLER: Eight years after being freed from a Bali prison, Schapelle Corby is back in custody this afternoon. The 44 year old was arrested a short time ago by the Australian Federal Police at Sydney airport, after attempting to...
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Smooth Operator: Man Checks Out Without The ‘Assistance Required’ Screen Coming Up Once 

RARE EVENT: A Monday morning trip to Woolworths has ended in a major breakthrough for one Sydney shopper and his wife. Paul Granger has reportedly become Woolworths' first customer to check out groceries without the 'assistance required' screen coming up...
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#BREAKING: Elon Musk Purchases Tinder For $9 Billion, In Desperate Bid To Find A Girlfriend

TINDER SWINDLER: He's the world's richest man who launches rockets to the moon, makes cameo appearances on Rick and Morty, and smokes joints on Joe Rogan's podcast. But it seems Elon Musk remains lonely. Yesterday he announced the purchase of social...
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#BREAKING: Dion From MAFS Now Dating Show ‘Expert’ Alessandra Rampolla

LAST LAUGH: After being brutally betrayed on national television, Dion Giannarelli is making an impressive comeback. The 34 year old, who was cheated on during the latest season of Married At First Sight, has today revealed exclusively to DBT that...
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#BREAKING: Network TEN Announce ‘The Tinder Swindler’ As The Next Bachelor

RISING STAR: After finding fame on the Netflix documentary 'The Tinder Swindler,' Shimon Hayut is set to grace our TV screens again as the next Bachelor on Network TEN. "This is a great opportunity for me to find true love,"...
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PM Punches A Bong After Focus Groups Show Overwhelming Support For Grace Tame

WAKE N BAKE: The Prime Minister has punched a bong early this morning during a press conference at Parliament House in Canberra. "That didn't even touch the sides," Scott Morrison told reporters immediately after exhaling. "I'll be keen for another...
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#BREAKING: Scott Morrison Remains Completely Unaware He’s Hated By Grace Tame

NOT TAME: A photo has captured a tense moment with the Prime Minister and 2021 Australian of the Year Grace Tame. The 27-year-old advocate for survivors of sexual assault completely barred Scott Morrison with some heavy daggar eyes at The...
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#BREAKING: Coles Supermarket Shopper Manages To Grab Just One Basket

BASKET BREAKTHROUGH: When Sydney's Ros Simpson approaches the shopping basket pile at her local Coles, she braces for the worst. "All I want is one shopping basket, but it's impossible to not pick up 2 or 3, or sometimes even...
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#BREAKING: The UN Announces W.A’s Separation From Australia, To Form Its Own Sovereign Nation

INDEPENDENCE DAY: The United Nations has today formally recognised Western Australia as an independent nation, as the state's tough border closures are extended. From next month Western Australia will be officially called the Independent Republic of Western Australia (IRWA), with...
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#BREAKING: Djokovic Locked Out Of His iPhone After Putting In The Wrong Passcode Several Times

ACCESS DENIED: The world no. 1 tennis player has encountered yet more trouble on his disaster trip to Australia. Only hours a court ordered his deportation, the Serbian tennis ace has been left without access to his mobile phone at...
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