Breaking News
#BREAKING: Coles Supermarket Shopper Manages To Grab Just One Basket
BASKET BREAKTHROUGH: When Sydney's Ros Simpson approaches the shopping basket pile at her local Coles, she braces for the worst. "All I want is one shopping basket, but it's impossible to not pick up 2 or 3, or sometimes even...
#BREAKING: The UN Announces W.A’s Separation From Australia, To Form Its Own Sovereign Nation
INDEPENDENCE DAY: The United Nations has today formally recognised Western Australia as an independent nation, as the state's tough border closures are extended. From next month Western Australia will be officially called the Independent Republic of Western Australia (IRWA), with...
#BREAKING: Djokovic Locked Out Of His iPhone After Putting In The Wrong Passcode Several Times
ACCESS DENIED: The world no. 1 tennis player has encountered yet more trouble on his disaster trip to Australia. Only hours a court ordered his deportation, the Serbian tennis ace has been left without access to his mobile phone at...
#BREAKING: Australian PM Asks Novak Djokovic If He’s Got Any Spare Seats In His Players Box
BIG ASK: Scott Morrison has reached out to the world no. 1 tennis player Novak Djokovic to see if he can sit in his players box for the Australian Open. The optimistic request comes just moments after the Serbian tennis...
Victorian Premier Announces Lockdown For Melbourne While Novak Djokovic Is In Town
SPECIAL GUEST: Greater Melbourne will be plunged back into a two-week stage 4 lockdown while Novak Djokovic is in town for the Australian Open. The Serbian number 1 has won a medical exemption from Australian tennis officials, despite not being...
NYE COVID CURFEW: QLD Premier Everyone Needs To Be Home By 10.30pm
FUN POLICE: The New Year's Eve plans of millions of Brisbane residents have been thrown into disarray. The QLD state government has just announced a landmark New Year’s Eve curfew covering the Brisbane metropolitan area. “Anyone found roaming the streets...
England Cricketers Submit False Positive Covid Tests, In Desperate Bid To Cancel The Ashes
LAST HOPE: International cricket has been rocked by a new match fixing scandal. Seven members of England's touring team have been found guilty of "rigging" rapid antigen covid tests to ensure they got a positive result. "It was their only...
Sydney Lord Mayor Starts Brainstorming Potential Reasons To Cancel NYE Fireworks
HEADLINE HUNTER: The Lord Mayor of Sydney and her media team have begun discussing how they can benefit from the annual 'on again, off again' coverage about NYE fireworks. "Over the next few days we'll begin sending out media releases...
Horror Writer Stephen King Releases New Book: ‘2021’
FEAR YEAR: Best selling author Stephen King has released a spine tingling new book, based on the events of this year. Reviewers say the book, called '2021,' is among King's most horrific and evil work to date. "It's savage," says...
#BREAKING: Embattled WA Premier Launches Perth’s Bold Bid To Host Next Year’s Melbourne Cup
LONG ODDS: After being stripped of the fifth Ashes test, WA's Premier is taking drastic action to prevent his state being completely excluded from the national sporting calendar. Mark McGowan has announced on Twitter this morning Perth's bid to host...
