Breaking News
#BREAKING: Elon Musk Purchases Tinder For $9 Billion, In Desperate Bid To Find A Girlfriend
TINDER SWINDLER: He's the world's richest man who launches rockets to the moon, makes cameo appearances on Rick and Morty, and smokes joints on Joe Rogan's podcast. But it seems Elon Musk remains lonely. Yesterday he announced the purchase of social...
#BREAKING: Dion From MAFS Now Dating Show ‘Expert’ Alessandra Rampolla
LAST LAUGH: After being brutally betrayed on national television, Dion Giannarelli is making an impressive comeback. The 34 year old, who was cheated on during the latest season of Married At First Sight, has today revealed exclusively to DBT that...
#BREAKING: Network TEN Announce ‘The Tinder Swindler’ As The Next Bachelor
RISING STAR: After finding fame on the Netflix documentary 'The Tinder Swindler,' Shimon Hayut is set to grace our TV screens again as the next Bachelor on Network TEN. "This is a great opportunity for me to find true love,"...
PM Punches A Bong After Focus Groups Show Overwhelming Support For Grace Tame
WAKE N BAKE: The Prime Minister has punched a bong early this morning during a press conference at Parliament House in Canberra. "That didn't even touch the sides," Scott Morrison told reporters immediately after exhaling. "I'll be keen for another...
#BREAKING: Scott Morrison Remains Completely Unaware He’s Hated By Grace Tame
NOT TAME: A photo has captured a tense moment with the Prime Minister and 2021 Australian of the Year Grace Tame. The 27-year-old advocate for survivors of sexual assault completely barred Scott Morrison with some heavy daggar eyes at The...
#BREAKING: Coles Supermarket Shopper Manages To Grab Just One Basket
BASKET BREAKTHROUGH: When Sydney's Ros Simpson approaches the shopping basket pile at her local Coles, she braces for the worst. "All I want is one shopping basket, but it's impossible to not pick up 2 or 3, or sometimes even...
#BREAKING: The UN Announces W.A’s Separation From Australia, To Form Its Own Sovereign Nation
INDEPENDENCE DAY: The United Nations has today formally recognised Western Australia as an independent nation, as the state's tough border closures are extended. From next month Western Australia will be officially called the Independent Republic of Western Australia (IRWA), with...
#BREAKING: Djokovic Locked Out Of His iPhone After Putting In The Wrong Passcode Several Times
ACCESS DENIED: The world no. 1 tennis player has encountered yet more trouble on his disaster trip to Australia. Only hours a court ordered his deportation, the Serbian tennis ace has been left without access to his mobile phone at...
#BREAKING: Australian PM Asks Novak Djokovic If He’s Got Any Spare Seats In His Players Box
BIG ASK: Scott Morrison has reached out to the world no. 1 tennis player Novak Djokovic to see if he can sit in his players box for the Australian Open. The optimistic request comes just moments after the Serbian tennis...
Victorian Premier Announces Lockdown For Melbourne While Novak Djokovic Is In Town
SPECIAL GUEST: Greater Melbourne will be plunged back into a two-week stage 4 lockdown while Novak Djokovic is in town for the Australian Open. The Serbian number 1 has won a medical exemption from Australian tennis officials, despite not being...
