Breaking News
NYE COVID CURFEW: QLD Premier Everyone Needs To Be Home By 10.30pm
FUN POLICE: The New Year's Eve plans of millions of Brisbane residents have been thrown into disarray. The QLD state government has just announced a landmark New Year’s Eve curfew covering the Brisbane metropolitan area. “Anyone found roaming the streets...
England Cricketers Submit False Positive Covid Tests, In Desperate Bid To Cancel The Ashes
LAST HOPE: International cricket has been rocked by a new match fixing scandal. Seven members of England's touring team have been found guilty of "rigging" rapid antigen covid tests to ensure they got a positive result. "It was their only...
Sydney Lord Mayor Starts Brainstorming Potential Reasons To Cancel NYE Fireworks
HEADLINE HUNTER: The Lord Mayor of Sydney and her media team have begun discussing how they can benefit from the annual 'on again, off again' coverage about NYE fireworks. "Over the next few days we'll begin sending out media releases...
Horror Writer Stephen King Releases New Book: ‘2021’
FEAR YEAR: Best selling author Stephen King has released a spine tingling new book, based on the events of this year. Reviewers say the book, called '2021,' is among King's most horrific and evil work to date. "It's savage," says...
#BREAKING: Embattled WA Premier Launches Perth’s Bold Bid To Host Next Year’s Melbourne Cup
LONG ODDS: After being stripped of the fifth Ashes test, WA's Premier is taking drastic action to prevent his state being completely excluded from the national sporting calendar. Mark McGowan has announced on Twitter this morning Perth's bid to host...
#Breaking: Alan Jones Posts FB Status Asking If Any Of His Followers Know How To Start A Podcast
CALL OUT: Controversial broadcaster Alan Jones is not ready to hang up his microphone just yet. After being dumped from 2GB and today Sky News, the 80 year old is now reportedly turning to modern technology to ensure his voice...
“I Won $600 On The Everest!” Says Man Who Lost $23,400 For The Day
#WINNING: A Sydney man has intentionally misled his Instagram followers by trying to suggest that he made money on The Everest at Randwick today. Nigel Dolton posted a photo of himself celebrating in a waistcoat shortly after winning $600 on...
#BREAKING: Seven Network Give Sam Frost New Role As The Sunrise Cash Cow
DAMAGE CONTROL: Home and Away star Sam Frost has begun preparing for her new on-screen role, after tearfully revealing her decision to remain unvaccinated. "We're currently doing rehearsals with Sam to prepare her to work as the Sunrise Cash Cow,"...
#BREAKING: Comedian Jordan Shanks To Replace John Barilaro As NSW Deputy Premier
CAREER PIVOT: YouTube comedian Jordan Shanks has just announced he's moving into politics. Shanks, also known as Friendlyjordies, will step into the role of NSW Deputy Premier, replacing the man he accused of corruption: John Barilaro. "This is an exciting...
#BREAKING: Woolworths Bans Unvaccinated Shoppers From Squeezing Avocados Before Selecting One
Woolworths is being accused of discriminating against anti-vaxxers, after the retailer announced tough new rules for shoppers buying avocados. "From 3pm today, unvaccinated shoppers will not be able to touch an avocado unless they purchase it," says Woolworths spokesperson Will...
