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‘R U OK Day?’ 2020 Cancelled After Organisers Realise That Nobody Is OK

It's the annual day when people are urged to ask 'R U OK?' to help start a conversation that might make a difference in someone's life. R U OK? Day 2020 was scheduled to take place tomorrow, but organisers say...
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Federal Treasurer Applies For JobSeeker Allowance As Nation Enters Recession

The Federal Treasurer has announced that he's applied for the JobSeeker allowance, as Covid-19 continues to deal its most severe economic blow since World War II. "There's no reason why politicians can't apply for the allowance," says Josh Frydenberg. "We're...
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Eddie McGuire Applies For Job Seeker Allowance After Suspension Of Millionaire Hot Seat

Controversial TV host Eddie McGuire has applied for the federal government's Job Seeker allowance of $550 a fortnight. It follows the suspension of the TV show he hosts on Channel Nine The Millionaire Hot Seat. The show is filmed at...
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#BREAKING: Russia’s Coronavirus Vaccine Now Available For Sale Globally On eBay

Russia's groundbreaking coronavirus vaccine is now available on the popular ecommerce platform eBay. "We're working quickly to make the vaccine available to as many people as possible," says Russian President Vladimir Putin. "Together, we can now definitely stop the spread."...
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Security Fail To Get Trump Shot After Abruptly Removing Him From A Press Briefing

The U.S Secret Service have failed to get Donald Trump shot after they heard gunfire outside the White House this morning. The U.S President had only been speaking for three minutes when a security agent stopped him mid-sentence and pulled...
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#BREAKING: Ghislaine Maxwell Jumps To Defence Of Ellen DeGeneres

Imprisoned British socialite Ghislaine Maxwell is the latest celebrity to speak out in defence of embattled talk show host Ellen DeGeneres. "Ellen is actually really lovely," claims Maxwell. "I think she's just the target of a witch hunt and it's...
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Ellen To Give Every American $1k In Desperate Bid To Repair Reputation

Embattled talk show host Ellen DeGeneres has announced that she's giving every American $1000. "If you're American, you deserve it," she says. "See it as an economic stimulus payment to help with the tough times." Ellen made her announcement in...
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Arrested BLM Protest Organiser Requests Private Holding Cell ‘Due To Covid’

The organiser of today's illegal Black Lives Matter protest in Sydney has requested to be held in a private holding cell after being arrested today. Just before midday, Paddy Gibson was taken to Sydney Central Police Station where he was...
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Victoria’s Coronavirus Outbreak Traced Back To Ciarran From Bachelor In Paradise

'Patient zero' of Victoria's Covid-19 outbreak has been identified as controversial love rat Ciarran Stott from Network TEN's reality TV dating show Bachelor in Paradise. "He's a super spreader," says Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews. "Investigators from Victoria's Health Department have...
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Victorian Premier Calls Pete Evans For Help On Dealing With Coronavirus

In the grip of the Coronavirus pandemic, the Victorian Premier is reaching out for help. Daniel Andrews has confirmed that he's spoken on the phone to wellness and public relations guru Pete Evans. "We chatted for about 20 minutes," says...
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