Breaking News
WA Premier Announces Mandatory 14-Day Quarantine For All Newborn Babies
Western Australia's Premier has announced a controversial new social distancing measure, effectively separating mother and baby at birth. "From next Tuesday, all new arrivals into WA will have to quarantine for 2 weeks," says Mark McGowan. "If they test negative...
#BREAKING: Apple Release New iPhone With Face Mask Facial ID Feature
The release of Apple's facial-recognition technology in 2017 was a game changer for the mobile phone industry. But there was one factor Apple's developer's could not have foreseen: Mandatory face masks. "As many iPhone users have discovered, facial ID with...
Grape Theft Falls Dramatically As Mandatory Face Mask Rules Take Effect
New rules in Greater Sydney making face masks compulsory while shopping and using public transport has had an unexpected benefit for the major supermarkets. "We've seen grape theft fall by 87% since the new laws were introduced on Sunday," says...
People Suddenly Uninvited From NYE House Parties Now Protesting New Restrictions
Protests have broken out across greater Sydney this afternoon in response to tighter restrictions on New Year's Eve household gatherings. The Premier has reduced the number of guests allowed from 10 to 5, after a surge of 18 new covid...
#BREAKING: Premier Cancels Fireworks Due To Covid, ‘But ABC TV To Air Last Year’s Display’
One day after saying the fireworks will take place as originally planned, the NSW Premier has reversed the decision, announcing the shock cancellation of the event. "The threat from covid-19 is still too high," says Gladys Berejiklian. "The government apologises...
#BREAKING: ‘Honey Badger’ Identified As Patient Zero For Northern Beaches Outbreak
Contact tracers have identified former Wallaby and reality TV star Nick 'The Honey Badger' Cummins as patient zero for the Northern Beaches Covid-19 outbreak. "Anyone who has come into contact with Nick is urged to isolate immediately," says the NSW...
#BREAKING: Australia’s PM Threatens To Suspend Tim Tam Exports To China
An escalation of tensions between Australia and China could result in a fully fledged trade war between the two countries, analysts say. Today Scott Morrison has threatened to suspend exports to China of Australia's most valuable export. "We need to...
QLD Premier Opens Border To All Australians, Except Gladys Berejiklian Who Failed To Self-Isolate
Annastacia Palaszczuk has finally announced the Queensland border will reopen to millions of people in NSW and Victoria on December 1. But the border will remain closed to one very important NSW resident. "Gladys Berejiklian is not welcome in Queensland,"...
#BREAKING: QLD Premier Cancels State Of Origin Decider “Due To Covid Fears”
NSW State of Origin players and fans have been dealt a shocking blow today, with the QLD Premier announcing next week's deciding match in Brisbane has been cancelled. "I know it's dramatic, but I've been left with little choice," says...
Trump Accuses Golf Partner Of Tampering With The Scorecard
Donald Trump was causing drama on the golf course today, accusing one of his playing partners of cheating. "You're writing down my numbers wrong on purpose," Trump was heard saying. "Can we at least find someone who can keep my...
