Posts Tagged ‘Already Run’
Rose Bay man buys R.M. Williams after purchasing 0.5 hectare property near Bowral
A Sydney finance worker who purchased a 0.5 hectare site near Bowral has suddenly begun pounding the pavement in a pair of R.M. Williams. Dan Mason bought the semi-rural property as an investment in an online auction over the weekend, but is yet to make the 1.5 hour trip south to visit in person. “I’m not sure exactly when I’ll get a chance to go there,” he told DBT. “But I feel like just buying the property has given me a genuine connection to rural Australia.” In the meantime, the Rose Bay man has started wearing his new R.M Williams…
Read MorePeople who leave parties without saying goodbye save up to 2 days per year: Report
IRISH EXIT: Saying goodbye to friends at parties may seem like the obvious and polite thing to do, but a new report shows it may be costing us dearly. Researchers from the UNSW’s Time Management Institute interviewed 2000 Australians, finding on average they go to 25 parties per year. “From the moment we actually decide it’s time to leave a party it takes us, on average, 45 minutes to say goodbye,” says lead researcher Dean Hoddle. “That means we spend an average of 18 hours and 45 minutes each year saying goodbye.” “But several respondents in our survey spend up…
Read MoreTinder user who’s about to move houses, now only swiping right on men with trucks
TINDER SWINDLER: Dating app user Sally McKinley has only one thing on her mind, and it isn’t sex or relationships. She’s come clean on her strategy of using Tinder to find someone with a ute or a truck who can help her move houses. “At the moment I’m chatting with one guy with a Nissan Navara who seems promising,” the 28 year old told DBT. “His bio says he ‘loves driving his truck and helping out friends.” “But there’s another guy with a Ford Ranger who looks strong and could probably help me with heavy lifting.” Ms McKinley will be…
Read MoreIntrovert delays leaving home by 5 minutes to avoid 10 second chat with his neighbour
TIME WELL SPENT: A Sydney introvert who was already running late for work today further delayed leaving his unit, in a desperate bid to avoid his neighbour. “I was about to go when I heard him in the hallway, so I waited inside my apartment for him to leave,” says Jeremy Yardley. “After a minute or so, I thought the coast was clear, but then he came back because he must’ve forgotten something.” It wasn’t until five minutes later when the 29 year old finally left his apartment. “It was worth the wait,” he told DBT. “He’s a good bloke,…
Read MoreCyclist shaves 1.34 seconds off lap of Centennial Park after switching to skin tight lycra
DRESSED TO THE NINES: A 69 year old cyclist has smashed his personal best time for a lap of Centennial Park thanks to a striking yellow & black body hugging lycra outfit. “The lycra makes me so much more aerodynamic and less susceptible to injury,” he says. “Believe it or not, I used to just wear normal shorts and a t-shirt.” This morning Roger Mapstead recorded 7 minutes and 14.31 seconds for the 3.7km course. But DBT understands it took him 12 minutes and 6 seconds just to squeeze his ample frame into his new outfit. And, like most cyclists,…
Read MoreMisleading & deceptive: Bondi Junction man claiming to live in ‘Bondi’
IMPOSTER: It’s the one question Jye Coulman always loves being asked: “Where do you live?” His answer always comes quickly and enthusiastically: “I live in Bondi.” But an investigation by DBT has revealed the 29 year old actually lives more than 3 kilometres away from Bondi. His apartment in Ebley street lies deep within Bondi Junction’s borders – a 2 minute walk to the Westfield centre – but a 30 minute walk from Bondi Beach. “Oh whatever, ‘Bondi’ & ‘Bondi Junction’ are basically the same things,” claims Coulman. “The ‘Junction’ part is nether here nor there.” “Besides, I’m always at…
Read MoreFriend With Man Bun Spends Entire Dinner Talking About How He Knows A Better Restaurant
SO SYDNEY: A night out to catch up with friends over dinner last night somehow morphed into a brutal forum of petty one-upmanship. Mark Casen and his girlfriend invited his old friend Daniel Hodge on a double date to Mimi’s in Double Bay. But Daniel Hodge spent the whole night talking about some other fucking place in Surry Hills which he claims: “No one has really heard about yet.” “We’ll have to go there next time,” continued Hodge. “I know a guy who works there so I could get us a good table.” “I think my taste buds are more…
Read MoreMan Completes Transition Into His 40’s By Falling Asleep On The Couch & Waking Up With Tennis Elbow
CAUGHT NAPPING: An impromptu sleep at home on the couch has ended in serious injury for one Sydney man. Yesterday afternoon Gary Dragoon was rushed to hospital, after falling asleep in a strange position and waking up unable to move his elbow. “He’s been diagnosed with a severe case of tendinitis, otherwise known as tennis elbow,” say doctors. “He’s in a serious but stable condition.” The father of two says his body has been getting steadily more fragile since he turned 40 last month. “On Monday I strained my neck while driving over a speed hump too fast,” he told…
Read MoreCrossing The Road To Avoid Small Talk With Acquaintances, Can Save You Up To 2 Days A Year: Report
THE GREAT ESCAPE: A landmark new report has shed light on the significant time savings available to those willing to avoid friends and acquaintances on the street. “Often I see people I know walking toward me on the same footpath, so I’ll quickly cross the road so I don’t have to say hello,” one survey participant told DBT. “It’s very useful for avoiding ex-girlfriends, colleagues and even family friends.” The report, by the Pedestrian Council of Australia, shows using these types of tactics can save up to two days worth of generic banter every year. “Time is money,” says another…
Read More#BREAKING: Woman Casually Holding Bag Of Poo Like It’s No Big Deal
Park goers are this evening watching on in horror, as a dog owner casually holds a bag full of dog shit. “I’m feeling uncomfortable with how long she’s been holding it for,” says one witness. “She’s been waving it around like a handbag for at least 15 minutes.” Others in the park say they’re curious as to why she doesn’t just throw it out. “I’m pretty sure I could smell it,” says another woman. “She came up to try to talk to me, but I pretended my dog was dragging me away in a different direction.” A DBT reporter caught…
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