Posts by DBT
Sydney Cocaine Dealer Now Also Offering Illegal Home Visit Haircuts
BLACK MARKET: As Sydney enters its third week of lockdown, a local cocaine dealer is taking advantage of hair salon closures by also offering illegal home visit haircuts. “It’s a handy two in one service,” says Tony Werkhoven. “I’m in very high demand at the moment, especially in the eastern suburbs.” The 36 year old cocaine dealer and delivery driver says he studied hairdressing at TAFE 13 years ago. “People are so desperate for a haircut, the quality of the job doesn’t actually matter that much,” he says. “As long as I also come with the party favors, everyone is…
Read MoreCouple Appeal Fine For Having Sex In A Car, Claiming To Be Exercising In A Group Of Two
SEX CRIME: A Sydney couple are appealing a $1100 fine for having sex in their car, claiming it counts as essential exercise. The pair were handed an infringement notice for ‘indecent exposure’ after police caught them having sex in their vehicle which was parked in a Rooty Hill car park. “I don’t understand what we’ve done wrong,” said the man. “We were exercising in a group of two. There was nobody else with us in the car.” Under NSW laws, it’s not an offence to have sex in public, unless you are visible, or even potentially visible. But the couple…
Read MoreNew Research Shows Vaccination May Be Ineffective Unless You Post A Selfie Of It
The Prime Minister is urging anyone who gets vaccinated to make sure they share a selfie of it to social media. “Please, do the right thing,” says Scott Morrison. “We’re all in this together. We desperately need to lift our vaccination selfie rates.” It follows new research showing the jab may be ineffective for those who don’t post a photo of it. The University of Sydney has found 1.7% of vaccine recipients contracted Covid after failing to post a selfie to either Instagram or Facebook. That compares with only 0.2% of those who did. “The results are clear,” says lead…
Read More#BREAKING: Network TEN Announce Real Estate Mogul Simon Cohen As The Next Bachelor
RISING STAR: Eastern suburbs real estate mogul Simon Cohen is taking the next big leap in his reality TV career after being announced as the next Bachelor. Network TEN’s announcement comes shortly after the buyers agent’s appearance on Amazon Prime’s hit real estate TV show Luxe Listings Sydney. “Simon will be a huge hit with the ladies,” says Network TEN programming boss Nathan Maxwell. “We’ve been very impressed with his form on Luxe Listings.” The 35 year old’s love life featured heavily on the first season Luxe Listings, including an actual date, and regular requests from his mother to start…
Read MorePM Reveals Australia’s Confronting New Covid Advert Was Directed By Stephen King
FEAR FACTOR: Legendary horror writer Stephen King was the brains behind the federal government’s confronting new TV advertisement warning about the dangers of Covid-19. The 30 second clip shows a terrified young woman struggling to breath on a ventilator. “Obviously our milkshake themed consent ads from earlier this year didn’t hit the mark, so for this Covid ad we decided to be much more literal.” The graphic ad went to air in Sydney for the first time last night, as infection rates around the country continue to rise, especially in New South Wales. “Australians are being way too relaxed about…
Read MoreKyrgios Bitter Ash Barty Has All The Attention Without Abusing Umpires Or Smashing Racquets
Australian tennis bad boy Nick Kyrgios has unleashed on the Wimbledon winner Ash Barty. “She might be a good player and all, but tennis at this level is about so much more than playing ability,” says Kyrgios. “It’s about providing entertainment.” Kyrgios – who’s known for berating umpires, players and fans – says Barty isn’t worth the attention & praise she’s getting for gracefully beating Karolina Pliskova in the Wimbledon final. “I bet she couldn’t smash a racquet on the ground if she tried,” says Kyrgios. “She doesn’t even have any tattoos or grunt when she hits the ball.” “I…
Read MoreWestern Sydney Warning: Wearing Adidas Tracksuits Does Not Count As Doing Essential Exercise
The NSW Premier has issued a stern warning to residents of Western Sydney, as the city’s Covid outbreak grows. “Leaving home in an Adidas tracksuit without any plans to do any actual exercise is a breach of public health orders,” says Gladys Berejiklian. “You may look sporty, but you’re not fooling anyone.” Police say they’re overwhelmed by Western Sydney residents pretending to be exercising in Adidas gear to avoid fines relating to social distancing rules. “Most of these people are just out shopping, socialising or engaging in other non-essential activities,” says NSW Police Commissioner Mick Fuller. “We’re also seeing plenty…
Read MoreCovid Heartbreak: Woman Dumps Boyfriend Because He Lives More Than 10km Away
A Bronte Woman has ended her nine month relationship after new laws requiring residents of Greater Sydney to stay within 10 kilometres from their home. Ayla Rosensweig told her boyfriend they should start seeing other people, because he lives a 20 minute drive away in Marrickville. “I want to start seeing people within my 10km radius, it’s the right thing to do,” she wrote in a heartbreaking text message to him. “I just think we are both just headed in different directions.” Ms Rosensweig says she’s concerned the lockdown may last for another few weeks or even months. “To be…
Read MorePersonal Trainer Now Holding Sessions In Coles To Allow For Groups Larger Than Two
EXERCISE YOUR RIGHTS: Personal trainers say they’ve been devastated by new public health orders in Greater Sydney restricting exercise to groups of two. But one local trainer has found a loop hole. Jeremy Leonard has begun holding sessions within Bondi Junction Coles, where there are no limits of on public gatherings. “I had three clients this afternoon not including myself,” he says. “Covid is tough for everyone, but we all need to find ways to make it work. Adapt or die.” “The only downside is the face masks, but it’s worth it.” Coles management told DBT they don’t support the…
Read MoreCovid Breach: Police Uncover Illegal Hairdressing Racket Operating In Sydney’s East
RAZOR GANG: Police have shut down a covert and temporary hairdressing operation set up in an unused warehouse in Surry Hills. “This underground salon was established in defiance of public health orders,” says Police Commissioner Mick Fuller. “Fines have been issued to both the hairdressers and their clients, and the operation has been closed.” Police allege the salon operators were charging exorbitant prices, as they took advantage of eastern suburbs residents who badly needed a haircut. “It’s just really hard with all the hairdressers closed,” says one Vaucluse woman. “I was just getting so desperate for a cut and dry.”…
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