Posts by DBT
#BREAKING: Man In Singles Bubble For Ten Days, Still Not Getting Any Action
HIGH AND DRY: Tensions are high between a Sydney man and his female singles bubble buddy. For the last 10 days, Mark Wilbur and Jessica French have been in an exclusive singles bubble as per public health rules, however there still hasn’t been any intimacy. “What’s the point of all this?,” Mark Wilbur told DBT. “I was under the impression that entering into this singles bubble basically meant guaranteed sex.” “But I haven’t even had a kiss. I don’t understand what the point of all this is.” Yesterday the couple sat down for talks on the matter, where Jessica French…
Read MoreWoman Calls Police On Her Singles Bubble Buddy, After He Started Seeing Other People
COVID HEARTBREAK: Police are investigating claims a man in a singles bubble began seeing other people. The allegations were raised by his disgruntled singles bubble parter, who says he should face fines. “He and I had been in our bubble for more than a week,” says Jane Quigley. “But then he breached it, putting others at risk.” But the man told police he was only going for a walk in the park with the other woman, in line with public health orders. Either way, Jane Quigley has since unfollowed the man on Instagram. NSW Police say they have now distanced…
Read MoreCovid Impact: Sydney Man Files For Divorce After Wife Goes One Month Without Injectables
The continued closure of cosmetic clinics and beauty salons is taking a heavy toll on one Sydney marriage. A Vaucluse man claims his wife has been left unrecognisable as she’s been forced to forgo her regular facials, filler and tanning treatments for the last month during lockdown. “You’ve really changed so much recently,” Michael Carter told his wife Felicity. “I’m so sorry, but you’re just not the person you used to be.” Mr Carter told DBT he’s now filed for divorce, sharing with our reporter a before/after photo of his wife. “You can see in the pic how her youthful…
Read MoreSoldier Who Won Bravery Award For Service In Iraq, Left Traumatised After 3 Days Patrolling Bondi
PTSD: A decorated war veteran says he may be forced to quit the military after three days of enforcing public health orders in Bondi. “It’s been traumatic here,” says Colonel Richard Herring. “All the Bondi influencers and hipster anti-vaxxers are making my job very difficult.” “Not to mention all the entitled baby boomers around here.” The 39 year old paratrooper won a bravery award for his five years helping to dismantle Al-Qaeda in war torn Iraq. But says he’s been left with post traumatic stress disorder after 3 eight hour shifts patrolling a busy Campbell Parade. “All these yuppies are…
Read More‘No Jab For Me,’ Says Anti-vaxxer Who Often Injects Himself With Steroids Purchased Off The Dark Web
A Sydney man is holding firm on his pledge to not to get vaccinated, despite injecting himself up to twice a week with steroids bought from a Ukrainian seller on the dark web. “Don’t join all the other sheep by getting vaccinated,” says Mark Ticehurst. “Those vaccines are lethal because we have no idea what’s in them.” The 31 year old brick shit house says injecting himself with steroids at home is all he needs to stay strong and covid free. “Plus I need to bulk up in time for the next anti-lockdown protest,” he says. “I’m dying to put a…
Read MoreArmy Steps In To Help Uber Eats Amid Booming Demand For Food Delivery During Lockdown
DISASTER RELIEF: The Army has launched an emergency operation to help food ordering and delivery platform Uber Eats, which has been stretched to breaking point during Sydney’s lockdown. Unprecedented demand for food home delivery has led to a severe shortage of Uber Eats drivers, meaning many customers are receiving their meals cold, or not at all. “Residents deserve reliable access to food delivery services during this difficult time,” says NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian. “That’s why the state government is deploying more than 1500 troops to help deliver food to homes in Greater Sydney.” It’s understood the state government has also…
Read MoreSydney Chemists Now Also Offering AstraZeneca In Powder Form To Encourage Vaccinations
Community resistance to the AstraZeneca jab has led authorities to consider new ways of administering the vaccine. “Our research shows Sydney residents are significantly more comfortable consuming the vaccine in powder form,” says Dan McIntyre from NSW Health. That’s why, from midday today, pharmacies around Sydney will begin offering AstraZeneca as a powder, as an alternative to an injection. “Those getting vaccinated will be asked to snort two large lines of the vaccine,” says Dan McIntyre. “Then after one month they’ll come back for their second two lines.” “But they must snort it off their own mobile phone and use…
Read MoreMcDonald’s Announce Record Profit For CBD Outlets Today, As Police Descend On The City
Fast food giant McDonald’s has announced a record daily profit for its Sydney CBD outlets, as more than 1300 police officers descended on the city. “Today we saw revenue up more than 5000% for outlets within the city ring,” says McDonald’s Australia CEO Tim Liddle. “Demand was up across the entire menu, but Big Mac and apple pie sales particularly skyrocketed.” There was a heavy police presence at McDonald’s outlets throughout the CBD, as officers crowded to prevent a repeat of last Saturday’s anti-lockdown protests. By 3pm McDonald’s on Pitt Street was forced to close after running out of stock.…
Read MoreWeekend Walk: Friends Use ‘Two Person Rule’ To Exclude Third Friend They Find Annoying
A Sydney woman has found herself feeling lonely and isolated after being rejected by her two friends during lockdown this morning. “They told me I couldn’t join them on the Bondi to Bronte walk because of the social distancing rules limiting groups of people exercising to two,” Diane Frederick told DBT. “I get it, but to be honest, I thought maybe they just didn’t want me there.” To distract herself from feeling shunned by her friends, Ms Frederick started doing house work, but then decided to do the Bondi to Bronte walk alone. “When I got there I saw them…
Read MoreArmy Shuts Down TV Show After The Bachelor Tried Including 23 Women In His Singles Bubble
Filming of Network TEN’s reality TV show ‘The Bachelor’ has come to abrupt end after the Australian Defence Force stormed the Bachelor mansion this afternoon. “We have to be consistent in our enforcement of public health orders,” says Defence Force Chief Angus Campbell. “The Bachelor is subject to all the same rules other civilians are.” Yesterday the army announced its helping to enforce social distancing rules, including the new ‘singles bubble’ rule, allowing singles to choose one person to visit their home. “With 23 women to choose from, The Bachelor is setting a bad example to singles stuck in lockdown…
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